Last Updated: February 4, 2008

We created CafeMom to provide moms with a positive and interesting environment where they can connect with other moms, share stories, vent, feel that they are not in it alone, give and get advice, laugh, and more.

We understand that a mother’s time is precious so CafeMom should be a place where a mom can come and feel welcome and safe and not be subject to personal attacks or disrespectful behavior. These guidelines are intended to make CafeMom a great place for as many moms as possible.

When thinking about what’s acceptable on CafeMom, think about what’s acceptable in a real cafe. As "customers" in the cafe, all CafeMom members should act as if you were in a real cafe. As the "owner" of the cafe, the CafeMom Team will take actions similar to what a cafe owner would do.

Rules of Conduct at CafeMom

The following are rules you should keep in mind when using CafeMom. Failure to follow these rules can result in termination of your account. Click on any rule to read about it in more detail.

Above all else, be nice to the moms you meet at the cafe and give each other the benefit of the doubt. If we all do this, the cafe will be a great place to hang out.

1. Be respectful of others, especially when disagreeing with them.
2. Debate is great, but it should be done in a constructive way.
3. Don’t harass or personally attack others.
4. No ganging up.
5. Slurs, stereotyping, and hate speech are not tolerated.
6. Don’t annoy others by posting the same thing again and again.
7. If you’re going to post something controversial, be prepared for others to disagree with you and your ideas.
8. Don’t post something just to inflame others.
9. Don’t ask other members for help in the form of money, gifts or donations.
10. Only post advertisements and promotions in designated areas.
11. Be respectful of others when posting any content that is adult in nature.
12. No nude photographs.
13. Photographs or images of abortion are not permitted.
14. Don’t share your personal information with someone unless you’re absolutely certain it is safe to share with that person.
15. Don’t share personal information about anyone else.
16. If you suspect that someone on the site is an imposter or not legitimate, report the problem to CafeMom Team and we will deal with it.
17. Help us keep the cafe orderly by reporting any problems you see on the site including posts that break these rules.
18. Don’t do anything criminal or illegal on CafeMom or encourage anyone else to do so.
19. You may discuss CafeMom’s policies, but only in the designated area.
20. No shirt, no shoes, no service.

CafeMom‘s responsibilities & your responsibilities

We will not look at every post, photo or comment made on the site nor do we guarantee the integrity of every member on the site. But, if we catch something that we believe violates our guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service – either because we noticed it or you reported it – we will act on it.

When you report something to us that you believe violates these guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service, we will do our best to review it. We will not always agree with you that there is a problem. When we do agree, we will take the action that we feel is appropriate. While we listen to our members, we have the final say on whether content or conduct is permissible under these guidelines and our Terms of Service.

We generally won’t take action against older content that violates these guidelines. We feel our efforts are better spent focusing on current issues on the site.

You have the tools to remove comments made to your journal posts, photos, and chatterboxes. Please use these tools at your own discretion and, if appropriate, before you report an issue to us.

You also have the tools to control who sees the content you post. Utilize these privacy settings as you see fit to protect you and your family’s information. We want everyone at the cafe to be comfortable and feel safe.

Groups are run by the moms who started them, not CafeMom. Group owners are responsible for making their own guidelines for the group and enforcing them as desired. Group owners are able to remove posts, comments and members from their groups. If a group owner needs help with an issue that she can’t deal with on her own, she should contact us for assistance. Groups must abide by the CafeMom Group Guidelines.

We always have the right to remove postings, lock postings, warn members, suspend accounts, and/or cancel accounts to enforce these guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service or as we deem necessary to maintain the integrity of the site or our business. Whatever action we choose to take, our decision is final. We will not always explain our actions, but rest assured we do not take these decisions lightly.

We are not responsible for what happens off the site, even if it was organized on CafeMom. Be careful whom you talk to, whom you trust, and what you do in the real world based on what you read online.

Finally, please remember that we are just trying to make this the best site possible for as many moms as possible. If we feel that by removing a post or a member we can make the site experience better for the rest of the members, we will do it. Or, we could decide that a posting that you find objectionable is within the guidelines. You may not always think our decisions are fair and you may not always agree with us. Arguing with us or harassing us will not change our minds. Let’s all treat each other with respect and work together to make this a great place for moms.

These guidelines are a work in progress. We may revise these guidelines at any time and without prior notice.

CafeMom Detailed Rules of Conduct (aka The Fine Print)

1. Be respectful of others, especially when disagreeing with them.

   It’s simple – Be nice to others. This is the most important thing for everyone to remember.

   You can be opinionated.  You can say that your opinion is better than someone else's.  You can be opposed to the ideas or opinions of others, and can say so.  But don’t be nasty about it. Mean people are not welcome at this cafe.

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2. Debate is great, but it should be done in a constructive way.

   Discussion and debate are not only allowed, they are encouraged. But, if a healthy discussion breaks down into an exchange of attacks and insults or becomes too heated, we will take measures to end the discussion.

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3. Don’t harass or personally attack others.

   When a discussion gets heated or involves a topic you feel passionate about, it’s sometimes tempting to cross the line and stop talking about the issues and instead talk about the people involved. Don’t do it. No name calling. If you must "vent" your feelings about another CafeMom member, do it without identifying her. Don’t use her screen name or any other information that is likely to make her recognizable to other members.

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4. No ganging up.

   You may not like everyone on CafeMom. But don’t harass someone or tell all your friends to go harass someone because you don’t like something she said.

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5. Slurs, stereotyping, and hate speech are not tolerated.

   Slurs, hate speech and attacks aimed at any race, color, religion, national origin, disability or sexual orientation are not tolerated at all on CafeMom and will be removed. Don’t stereotype people, it isn’t funny and it isn’t acceptable.

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6. Don’t annoy others by posting the same thing again and again.

   Don’t post the same thing multiple times.
   Don’t post the same thing multiple times.
   Don’t post the same thing multiple times.
   Don’t post the same thing multiple times.
   Don’t post the same thing multiple times.
   

   It’s annoying – right? Also, don’t make new posts that simply link back to old posts. Don’t post the same photo over and over again. Do something once and see what happens; don’t try to force your ideas on people by reposting. In addition, don’t cross-post on multiple groups. Once or twice is fine, but more than that is spamming.

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7. If you're going to post something controversial, be prepared for others to disagree with you and your ideas.

   Remember that when you post something, especially about a controversial topic, expect that your viewpoints and opinions may be vigorously questioned, challenged, and held up to scrutiny. If having your opinions challenged and being expected to defend your position will make you uncomfortable, please don't post about that topic.

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8. Don't post something just to inflame others.

   Posts designed solely to upset another mom or group of moms have no place at CafeMom. They simply pollute the air and make it a less inviting place for everyone.

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9. Don't ask other members for help in the form of money, gifts or donations.

   It is not acceptable at this cafe to ask another member for money, goods or services. We appreciate the stress on you and your family resulting from financial pressures. You can, however, suggest that members donate to official charities (like the Red Cross or March of Dimes). We have compiled a list of organizations that provide help for moms in need on the Member Resources page.

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10. Only post advertisements and promotions in designated areas.

    Advertising includes, but is not limited to:

    • Work at home businesses
    • Products that you are selling (personal or professional)
    • Job opportunities
    • Charities and charitable causes
    • Promoting another website (personal, non-business websites are fine, anything else is not)
    • Promoting your entry in a contest (e.g,. "vote for my baby in the cutest baby contest on xyz.com!")
    • Each CafeMom Group can be promoted in Journal Posts once per day. Each person can promote a maximum of three groups per day.

    The only places on CafeMom where it is acceptable to post advertisements and promotions are:

    1. On your profile page
    2. On journal posts that are correctly flagged for the CafeMom Marketplace
    3. In groups that allow advertising and promotion
    4. In messages to members who have explicitly asked for information on a business.

    In addition, pyramid schemes are illegal and posting information about pyramid schemes in any forum on CafeMom is prohibited.

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11. Be respectful of others when posting any content that is adult in nature.

    We all have different thresholds for what we are comfortable seeing and reading. In order to make the cafe comfortable for everyone, please adhere to the following guidelines when posting content that may not be suitable for everyone.

    1. Cursing and adult content are prohibited in the public areas of CafeMom. This includes: avatars, screen names, thought bubbles, profile pages, journal post titles, group names, group descriptions, group avatars, signatures, widgets, and other similar places.
    2. If you post a photo that is adult in nature, check the box on the upload page where it says the photo might not be suitable for everyone. Pictures flagged this way will have a yellow sash over them which partially hides the content. The yellow sash serves as a warning sign to moms who are browsing the site. If a member decides she wants to see a picture that is draped with a sash, she simply clicks on the picture and the sash is automatically removed.
    3. If your journal post contains cursing or adult topics, check the box where it says the post might not be suitable for everyone. Your post will be flagged with a yellow "yield" sign for moms browsing the site so they know only to click if they don't mind reading adult content. There are cases where cursing or content will be so extreme that it will be removed regardless of whether the content is flagged correctly. We're all adults, there's no need to go to an extreme.

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12. No nude photographs.

    Have fun, participate in lively discussions and debates, bare your soul but not your body. Nudity is not permitted in this cafe. The exception to this rule is that you may post breastfeeding or birthing pictures. But if those pictures show private parts, they should be "sashed" (see no. 11b above).

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13. Don’t post or link to photographs or images of abortion.

    We don’t allow photographs, illustrations or other images depicting abortions. We understand the rationale for why moms might want to spread this kind of information, but CafeMom is not the right place to do this.

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14. Don’t share your personal information with someone unless you’re absolutely certain it is safe to share with that person.

    Would you give your phone number, street address or anything else to a mom you just met in a cafe? Maybe – if you trusted her or knew someone in common. But you probably wouldn’t give it out to someone you knew little about. The same is true online. Don’t give out your personal information to anyone else unless you’re sure it’s safe.

    And don’t give money to people who ask for it online. While their stories may move you, you have no way of knowing if they are legitimate. We can’t verify the identities of everyone on the site and you use the site at your own risk. We urge you to learn and follow best practices for staying safe online.

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15. Don’t share personal information about anyone else.

    You should also not share or post anyone else’s personal information. Don’t repost messages from private groups or messages in public places. If the information was posted in a private group, assume that the member wants it to remain private.

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16. If you suspect that someone on the site is an imposter or not legitimate, report the problem to the CafeMom Team and we will deal with it.

    If you think you’ve found an "imposter" or suspect that a member is not "legitimate," let us know by using the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of each page. We will investigate promptly. Do not threaten, harass or make journal posts about your suspicions. Doing this will only interfere with and slow down our efforts to get to the truth quickly.

    Likewise, if we discover that you are pretending to be someone you are not, we will cancel your account.

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17. Help us keep the cafe orderly by reporting any problems you see on the site including posts that violate these rules.

    If you see something that violates these rules and it bothers you, then report it to us and we will do our best to investigate it. You don’t need to report things multiple times or have your friends also report the same issue. We try to review everything sent to us and sending it multiple times just slows things down for everyone.

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18. Don’t do anything criminal or illegal on CafeMom or encourage anyone else to do so.

    Any postings that we reasonably believe or suspect are criminal or illegal in nature will be removed and any conduct that we suspect is illegal or which poses a threat of illegal activity will be reported to the appropriate authorities. We will cooperate with authorities to prosecute anyone who breaks the law while using our site. Do not link to sites containing criminal or illegal activity.

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19. You may discuss CafeMom’s policies, but only in the designated area.

    Don't agree with CafeMom policy and want to your voice to be heard?  There is a special, public group created at www.cafemom.com/group/cafemom/ where you can discuss with the CafeMom Team what the policies of CafeMom are, why they are a certain way, and help us shape what the policies should be.

    We are open to constructive feedback and will be honest with everyone about the reasoning behind our policies. If you create journal posts about policy issues, they will be removed.

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20. No shirt, no shoes, no service.

    Just kidding. We don’t care what you wear to this cafe.

    - The CafeMom Team