Tattoos often convey a certain message — usually heard in whispers. And in kid speak, a lot of those things are "not nice." Parents who have tattoos often get the worst of it perhaps because some people think that anyone with a bit of ink is a degenerate of society who ignores their kids.
As a mom with tattoos, I know this is not true. However, tattoos do lend themselves to an idea about your style of parenting or what goes on in a tattooed mom's mind and house. Prepare yourself for what tattoos do say about parenting. Here are 16 very important things to know about dads and moms with ink:
1. Your tattoos are setting your kids up for having un-inked skin. They will grow up to think tattoos aren't cool; therefore, what better way to ensure your kids won't get tattooed is to get them yourself. Genius!
2. If mom has a peace symbol, ohm, or lotus tattoo, it's a safe bet that she is an attachment parent who most definitely doesn't spank her kids.
3. If you go to a tattooed mom's kid's birthday party, prepare to leave with a goodie bag of temporary tattoos.
4. When a tattooed mom's kids play "Mommy," they draw on their arms with markers. Permanent markers. Because tattooed moms are that daring and don't always buy the washable ones.
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5. Kids of tattooed moms know all the words to "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?" by the Misfits. It's a rite of passage song.
6. The only time this tattooed mom has been in jail was when my kids put me there when playing a game. That's when they sing "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?"
7. You'll know which kid is the favorite because mom has the more elaborate tattoo in her honor.
8. Which also means if you don't have a tattoo for your kid, you obviously love tattoos more than your children.
9. If you wanted to know what a tattooed dad's favorite band was in high school, just look on his bicep. It's tattooed there.
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10. In case you're wondering (and we know some are), the tramp stamp didn't affect the epidural. If mom even had one.
11. We may regret some of our tattoos, but we never regret having children.
12. Breastfeeding when mom has a chest tattoo is like watching TV and eating.
13. Tattooed moms practice proper car seat safety when riding the kids on the back of the broom and/or motorcycle.
14. We really are in a gang. Half of us are in diapers. We meet at the park.
15. We didn't get some kind of child birth pain pass because we have tattoos. Child birth can hurt. So do tattoos. But we find both completely worth wincing over.
16. We are not all pirates. Okay, maybe we arrrgh.
Are you a tattooed parent? What are your favorites from this list?
Images © iStock.com/Srabin; iStock.com/LisaValder
