Puberty for boys and girls manifests itself in very different ways. Girls begin to develop breasts and start their period, while boys start making testosterone and their testicles grow. Even though they’re going through similar changes at about the same time, we tend to talk to them in very different ways.
When girls begin puberty, it’s out there for everyone to see. When they start to develop breasts, parents can see what’s happening. When their period begins, in general, they need their parents’ help to get supplies, and that can lead to a talk about how their body is changing and what it means when they start to develop.
But, with boys, they’re developing differently (and much of it happens in their pants, where you can’t see it). By the time parents start to notice that their son’s voice is changing and he’s growing more hair, puberty has already been happening for a while. Plus, boys tend to get quieter around this time, said Dr. Cara Natterson, pediatrician and author of Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons.
Dr. Natterson said she wrote Decoding Boys to encourage parents to talk to boys in the same way they talk to girls because the experience is more universal than parents may recognize.
“The experience overall with transformation and the not knowing where your body is going or in what order or where it’s going to land or feel, that’s really a human experience and it’s not gender at all, frankly,” Dr. Natterson told Mom.com.
How to talk to your boys and girls about puberty?
What age should you talk to your child about puberty?
A good time to start talking about puberty is between 9 and 12 years old, according to Planned Parenthood. “As your child goes through puberty, emphasize that all bodies develop differently and at their own pace.”
Mom Sherri Kuhn recommended being straightforward when talking to kids about what’s happening to their bodies.
“One of my biggest challenges was to mix honesty with facts. I didn’t want my daughter to think becoming a woman was all rainbows and lattes,” Kuhn said in an article for Mom.com. “Let’s face it, periods are kinda gross. I will never forget the moment my daughter realized that at my age I was still having periods. It was like her whole life flashed before her eyes. Why sugarcoat reality, right? Still, I felt kind of bad for her,” she wrote.
