You become a mom and you have all of these preconceived ideas of how things will go. Or at least I did. I had this vision of myself as a mom—and I always looked peaceful in these visions, like Mother Nature. And then I had a baby. Two years later, I had another baby.
I woke up one morning and realized the things I used to care about before I had kids were now weighing me down. It was time to let go of some things.
1. Matching my underwear, or matching anything
3. Reading all of the magazines
Once upon a time, I subscribed to no less than six magazines, as well as the daily newspaper. And I read them all, cover to cover. Then children came along and I found the pile of newspapers and magazines becoming overwhelming. For awhile when my oldest was a baby, I would tackle the pile once a week or so while he napped. It became a chore.
I started skimming for the most interesting articles, but even that wasn't enough to make a dent in the pile. I let all of my magazine subscriptions lapse and reduced my newspaper subscription to Wednesday and Thursday. Now I only buy a magazine if I know I'll read it within the week, and I usually have enough time to page through the newspaper twice a week. One day I'll subscribe to my favorites, but for now I'm letting go of the paper pile.
4. Dealing with my friends' drama
A friend would be fighting with a mutual friend over a perceived slight, another friend was refusing to deal with family issues that had been festering for years, a third friend was hating her job and wanted to vent about it. I used to let this stuff actually take up space in my brain—and my life. I've come to the realization that being a good friend doesn't mean internalizing everyone else's issues and complaints and letting myself become stressed and exhausted by problems that have nothing to do with me. The saying "Not my monkey, not my circus," works well in scenarios like these. Being supportive and encouraging, offering advice when it's solicited and staying quiet when it's not all work for me now.
I have no doubt that as my children get older, I will let go of more things or return to spending time on things that I've put on the back burner for now (I need new underwear, after all, so they might as well match!). What have you given up since becoming a mom? And what do you still need to let go of? It's a good question to ask when you're awake at 2 a.m. because of something that really no longer matters to you.
