“Welcome home!” my neighbor called across the street as I hauled in our trash bins. “How’s the little one?”
“She’s great!” I replied. “Things are going really well!”
“OK, well, let me know right away if you need anything. Seriously, don’t hesitate!” she said, waving before going back inside her house.
I put away the bins and returned to the bedroom where my second daughter, 4 weeks old, lay sleeping in her bassinet. Since she didn’t need me, I climbed into bed and flipped on a silly Netflix rom-com and checked my phone. My texts were full of messages of support for me and the new baby, many offering their assistance with anything I should need.
I was overcome with appreciation for the outpouring of love and support
I’m at peace with it
I used to have a lot of anxiety about getting enough sleep and how tired I would be the next day. Child #1 cured me of that pretty quickly, and I have learned over the years that I can operate on a lot less sleep than I ever thought I could.
Lastly, this birth did not require a shift in my entire identity
I remember the shock to the system that I suffered after my first daughter was born. I was someone’s mother! I battled feelings of inadequacy and the deep-seated fear that I wasn’t cut out for the job of parenting. Now, with six years of parenting under my belt, I was easily able to change “Mother” to “Mother of two” when considering my identity as a human. I had already long ago relinquished my right to bodily autonomy and personal space, and accepted the challenge of being the mother of the little person I had created. This time, it was like, “Well, the more the merrier!”
I realize that my experience is not universal, but I also feel like many parents may share my former anxiety about having another child because they remember how difficult the first time was. I have been pleasantly surprised with the ease with which my family and I have adjusted to the new baby. Of course, I may have just totally jinxed myself, but I’m so grateful for the ease of this second baby experience. Maybe it’s because I know I have support if I need it that I’m able to relax and let my mommy instincts guide me. All I know is I’m just going to enjoy this journey the second time around.
