It's not easy to stand up to someone like Jim Bob Duggar, but Jill Duggar has made it clear that she's not afraid to let her dad know how she really feels. In a new excerpt from her upcoming memoir, Counting the Cost, which was shared by People, Jill goes toe-to-toe with her dad and even referred to her disgraced older brother, Josh, as a "pedophile" right to Jim Bob's face. We wish cameras would have been rolling during this moment, but hearing Jill's retelling of the events, it sounds like it was a far more tense moment than we've ever seen on the family's reality shows.
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The fight took place when Jill and Derick met with Jim Bob and Michelle to talk.
Jill, Derick, and her parents sat down with a mediator in the hopes of working on their fractured relationship after Jim Bob and Michelle had received a letter that Jill and Derick sent them to share their hurt feelings — something that Michelle called "the most disrespectful thing" she'd ever read.
Jill wrote: "I’m sorry," I said. "We love y’all and could’ve used more care. We wrote the letter together and had hoped it would help explain our feelings, but I know we kept adding to it and then we were tired and just figured we had better go ahead send it along …"
Jim Bob immediately took issue with Jill accusing him of 'verbally abusing' her.
Jill wrote that her father said, "You sent me a text message, Jill. You said I was verbally abusing you. I was so offended by that, too. You know in your heart that’s not right. Are you going to apologize for that?"
When he realized that she wasn't going to apologize, he tried to intimidate her into admitting that she was wrong.
"We were facing each other from opposite couches, open space between us. Pops took a step toward me, closing the gap. It wasn’t a gesture of reconciliation. It was an act of aggression," she wrote. "He towered over me, his whole body fueled with anger. My face flushed red. My eyes filled with tears."
Jim Bob insisted that Jill was crying because she had a guilty conscience, but she knew that wasn't how she was feeling in that moment.
Jill told Jim Bob why she was actually crying.
"It’s that you think I’m some kind of horrible person just because I wear pants and have a nose ring, and yet you see that girl outside and praise her. That’s why I’m crying, Daddy," she wrote. "I’m evolving and changing, just like that girl out there, but you can’t see it. You treat me like I’m a prodigal who’s turned her back on you. You treat me worse than you treat my pedophile brother."
She really went there, which is especially biting because, as far as we know, Jim Bob has been working hard to shove his oldest son's conviction on child pornography charges under the rug since he was first accused of the crime.
Way to speak your mind, Jill!
Jill doesn't describe Jim Bob as the man we've seen on TV.
In the excerpt, she said that he had been "loud" with "an edge" to his voice that she hadn't heard often, and not even the moderator could hide their shock in that moment.
Still, Jill managed to hold her own — and it seems she said something out loud about Josh that so many members of her family had been trying to avoid admitting.
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It appears this book is going to go deeper than we ever could have guessed.
If this excerpt is any indication, this is about to be a pretty juicy read: It doesn't seem as if Jill is planning to hold back when it comes to how things really went down between her and her estranged parents.
It takes a lot of bravery to tell her story like this, and we can't imagine Jim Bob and Michelle are going to be happy about the contents of the book, either.
Counting the Cost hits shelves on September 12.
