What to Know
Martha Stewart (literally) wrote the book on homemaking and hosting — not to mention the many recipes she’s concocted that have ended up in so many families’ regular rotations. But there is one thing the internet is not about to take her advice on, and that is how to consume a bagel.
After the 84-year-old shared the way she eats a bagel on Instagram, people are completely losing it over how unhinged this is.
Martha basically turns eating a bagel into a whole event.
And according to the caption, it’s her daughter, Alexis Stewart, who is to blame for this behavior.
Sharing photos of her handiwork, Martha laid out her method: “1. choose a @popupbagels bagel I love poppyseed 2. Cut in half 3. Take a half of a half and break into sweet little pieces 4. Sweet little pieces can be topped with flavored or unflavored cream cheese Always satisfied never too full!”
Commenters were absolutely baffled.
“I love you, but this is crazy,” one of her followers said, with another contributing, “Martha I love you more than my own family but this is utterly unacceptable and I implore you to repent for your sins.”
Others were willing to admit that, unhinged or not, this method would simply never work for them. “Martha I wish I could eat my cream cheese by the modicum but I have no chill,” one wrote.
Others said this was “almond mom behavior.”
The tiny pieces (and not eating the entire bagel) is giving people flashbacks to ’90s diet culture — something that many people fortunately no longer have the tolerance for in the year 2026.
“I love you but this is straight up boomer diet culture. Eat the bagel girl,” one of her followers wrote.
Martha clearly edited her caption after seeing all the backlash in the comments, adding, “CAN’T ANYONE TAKE A JOKE?????? YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!! Anyway it’s very satisfying to eat a bagel like this.”
In Martha’s defense, this method is sort of encouraged by the bagel shop she said she likes best, PopUp Bagels. The shop serves them warm with a selection of schmears (some in special, rotating flavors) so maximizing the cream cheese experience is key.
Still, just take a bite! Bagels are supposed to be the easy option!
