Oh, baby names. Is there anything else that inspires quite as much debate, deliberation, and decision making during a pregnancy? Do we go super traditional? How about some trendy unisex options? Maybe something with a creative spelling (why not add a random "y" into the middle of a perfectly good name?), or something old-fashioned that honors a dearly loved relative or friend? Or, for some super famous folks, how about a name that is deeply, deeply weird?
To be fair, some celebrities choose perfectly lovely names for their kids. We love Reese Witherspoon's choice of Ava for her daughter, and Jen Garner made three excellent choices with Violet, Samuel, and Seraphina, for example. But for all of the classic picks or interesting new choices that some celebs make, there are other names that are just plain bad. Names that, if the kid in question wasn't the child of a celebrity, would result in some major playground teasing or a lifetime of people misspelling or fumbling how the name is pronounced. And, of course, there are also names that barely seem to even count as actual names for a human baby (yes, Elon Musk, we are throwing shade your way).
Read on for 15 names we don't think should be added to any baby name list!
North West
Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
If we were mean-spirited, we'd say that it was probably a good thing that Elon Musk and Grimes have broken up again so they can't have more babies to inflict weird names onto, like poor little Exa Dark Sideræl. She's in for a lifetime of explaining how to pronounce Sideræl (apparently it is sigh-deer-ee-el).
Apple Martin
One of the most frequently mocked celebrity names of the 2000s was Apple Martin, the now 18-year-old daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At the time, Gwyneth told Oprah Winfrey, "When we were first pregnant, her daddy said, 'If it's a girl, I think her name should be Apple.' It sounded so sweet, and it conjured such a lovely picture for me, you know. Apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical, and I just thought it sounded so lovely."
Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette
Magician Penn Jillette (half of the iconic Penn & Teller duo) chose an eyebrow-raising name for his daughter, who is now 17. She's named Moxie CrimeFighter. Penn shared that he and his wife "chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, 'But officer, we're on the same side. My middle name is CrimeFighter.'"
Rumer Willis
We're not sure what's worse: naming a child a synonym for gossip or naming them a synonym for gossip but not spelling it correctly? Either way, it leads to Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Glenn Willis. It's not a rumor — we don't love this name.
Bluebell Madonna Halliwell
Geri Halliwell will forever be one of our favorite Spice Girls, but her choice of a name for her first child raises some interesting questions. Her daughter is called Bluebell Madonna, which makes us wonder why some flower names (Lily or Rose, for example) seem perfectly lovely but Bluebell seems kind of goofy?
Tu Morrow
Sigh. The thing about names that are funny or punny is that they may be fun to say for the first time, but the kid has to live with that for the rest of their life! So, yeah, we're going to include actor Rob Morrow's choice of the name Tu for his daughter: Tu Morrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'd don't love it, tomorrow …
