As parents, we struggle with how to share scary information with our children. We don't want to create anxiety, but we don't want to ignore the facts of life either. If we don't tell them, maybe someone else will. Maybe another child at school. Or a teacher. Or maybe they will catch a glimpse on one of the zillions of screens surrounding them, because smartphones, iPads, laptops, desktops and televisions are everywhere. If you need some ideas on how to talk about tragedy with your children, read on.
Should you tell your kids?
Resources: books about tragedy, and how they can feel safe
Again, you know your children better than anyone else, so make sure you’re monitoring their distress and emotions. If your kid is having a really difficult time or requires additional assistance, ask for help. It can be as easy as reading a few articles, watching helpful videos, or reaching out to a mental health professional who specializes in children.
Books, sites, activities, and videos about traumatic events and processing them can also be a good tool to aid in your discussions with your children. Here are a few you may find worthwhile:
Children
- Sesame Street in Communities features many of your children’s favorite Sesame Street Muppets. The site provides videos, online storybooks, activity sheets, and other activities engineered to help kids cope with tragedy (from injuries to major events).
- A Terrible Thing Happened is a picture book by Margaret Holmes and Sasha Mudlaff and illustrated by Cary Pillo. It gently tells a story for kids who have witnessed or experienced any sort of violence, trauma, or natural disaster, and includes an afterword to help caregivers.
- The Breaking News is a storytime read-aloud by author/Illustrator Sarah Lynne Reul of her picture book that talks about what happens when something bad happens in a little girl’s community.
- Learning for Justice is an organization that provides a lot of activities and age appropriate tasks for children who want to make the world a better place in the wake of tragedy, empowering them to take action in their communities
- Guided Relaxation Meditation Scripts for Children is perfect for kids who are having a difficult time relaxing or calming themselves down. This site offers many scripts for multiple kinds of topics and situations parents can use.
- Feelings Thermometer is a tool that can help kids (and parents, too) take stock of how they’re doing emotionally, providing steps to help them shift their moods.
Adults
- SAMHSA’s Disaster Distress Helpline is available 24/7/365. They provide crisis counseling and support to people experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused (such as mass violence) disasters. If you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or thoughts of harming others, please call or text at 1-800-985-5990
- What Happened to My World?* is a free, downloadable book first created after 9/11 and teaches you how to help your child feel safe after a traumatic event.
- Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers is a quick article from the National Association of School Psychologists on how to talk to kids about violence.
