“Mom, I’m a homebody,” my 7-year-old informed me.
As my son’s mom, my motherly intuition should be able to predict all of his personality changes before he even knows they’re happening. Apparently, my instincts were locked out at some point during lockdown because I hadn’t seen this one coming.
Playdates, outdoor adventures with friends, and movie meetups were my son’s jam. He loved spending time with his friends. Of course, this was before the pandemic. Was it possible that isolating most of the year had him feeling differently about socializing?
Over the past several months, I’ve noticed a huge difference in my son’s social needs and skills. Always one to seek out a neighborhood gathering, he was no longer on the lookout. The first to wave to the kids on our block when outside, I watched him lower his eyes as we walked past. He continued with our conversation about Minecraft, but there was no waving and no big grin to his peers to strike up a quick convo. When I asked if he wanted to stop and talk, he told me he didn’t feel like it.
He hasn’t felt like it in weeks
Children feeling nervous, scared, or sad are a normal reaction given the circumstances
Support children by staying calm and positive and ask open-ended questions like, “How are you doing?” then allow your child to articulate a response to their best of their ability.
For the kids who simply aren’t ready to jump back quickly into all the playdates, honor those emotions. “Again, validate those feelings. Have a conversation with your child and then check in. They just may not be ready at that time and need more preparation,” explains Davis.
I figured my kid would be dressed and ready for his first official playdate weeks before it was time, but life inside has made his outside life feel like a strange, far-off memory. I’ll be sure to keep the lines of communication open and not rush the process. I’ll support his independence at home and be there so he knows all his big feelings are totally understandable. My motherly instincts may not have predicted this change coming, but as Davis says, it’s OK to give ourselves some parenting grace, because none of us have ever parented through a pandemic.
