School Daze
Take Time to Recharge
Stephanie O’Dea, author of Totally Together: Shortcuts to an Organized Life, recommends getting up a half hour early for some alone time before your family wakes up. Whether you use this “buffer time” to straighten up the living room, look through summer camp brochures or drink a cup of coffee as you scan the headlines, it helps you remain strong mentally. “It will help you feel centered for the day,” she says—which is needed right now more than ever.
MORE: School vs. Vacation
Build in Some Downtime
When you do get that rare evening or weekend day without plans, resist the temptation to fill it up by going on a field trip or deciding to clean out your child’s closets, recommends Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology. Instead, give everyone one day to stay in their PJs until 11 a.m. and not schedule anything. “You need it, and so do your kids,” she says. Days off during this time of the year are so rare that it can be very restorative and help you power through the rest of the year’s activities.
Slow It Down for Summer
Summer is an emotional and financial drain because moms feel they have to keep their kids busy 24/7, and camps and programs are expensive, Durvasula points out. She suggests that before parents plan the summer away, they consider the personality of their child.
“Just because your friend is putting her child in 700 events, your child may not need that. Some kids like to join things; others like a lot of downtime and thrive under it,” she says. Many parents also forget to ask their kids what they want to do, she adds—a simple question that can save you from signing your children up for pricey camps and programs they don’t even want to attend.
Trim Volunteer Duties
This is the time of year moms get tapped more than ever, whether you’re asked to bring cookies to the class party or to chaperone grad night. Give yourself permission to say no, advises O’Dea, because otherwise you’ll run yourself even more ragged. She suggests saying something like, “I am so sorry I won’t be able to help you out.” If the person presses you for a reason why—which, by the way, no one almost ever does, she says—she advises saying, “I’m simplifying this year.” No one can argue with that.
Keep Any Disappointments in Check
The end of the year is “not only when we cram in all the activities, but all the recognition,” Durvasula says. It’s easy to feel disappointed if, let’s say, your child doesn’t win the “student of the year” award or the “volleyball team MVP” trophy you thought was a lock. If this happens to you, try to remember, “It’s not about you, it’s about your child,” she says. Your child may not care nearly as much as you do, and also may not have expected it as much as you did.
On the other hand, if your daughter is upset about the oversight, give her a chance to talk out her feelings and then “let her know you value her, trophy or no trophy,” Durvasula says.
Gift the Teachers Without Going Broke
Sure, you want to thank all the important people who had an impact on your kid’s life this school year—but at what cost? Instead of overspending, and then regretting it, or buying a gift card that may go unused, O’Dea recommends giving teachers homemade cookies and cards. “It definitely is the thought that counts,” she says, not how much you spend.
One easy but fun card idea is to create one out of a piece of your child’s artwork you’ve collected throughout the year. The teacher will love the originality, says O’Dea, plus your house will be de-cluttered by one fewer piece of paper!
