Many of us are aware of explicit prejudices and attitudes prevalent toward certain groups and are actively trying to be allies by raising more tolerant kids, perhaps by educating them about racism, reading them books about race and diversity, and modeling inclusive behavior.
However, we may not realize how our implicit biases — even in babies — affect our understanding, interpretation, behavior, and choices. Here we offer some suggestions on how to address unconscious bias in your children.
What is unconscious bias?
How parents can reduce unconscious bias
Our job as parents is to make sure our children comprehend how society impacts their thoughts about racism, bias, and diversity. Below are some suggested ways parents can try to address implicit bias.
Explicitly discuss race, gender, sexuality, etc.
“For those raising children, it’s imperative you begin having conversations with them really early about racism and the effect it has had on Black folks, people of color, and society as a whole,” advised Grant.
Though Jacqueline Soohoo’s entire career involved making education more equitable for marginalized children, she realized her kids were internalizing the lie of white supremacy inherent in our society. “I need to make anti-racism a part of the fabric of our family life — not just a book I read at bedtime,” she told Mom.com.
“I tried to talk as much about the experience of whiteness as the experience of being racialized,” Mark, one of three parents in a blended family with four children, shared with Mom.com. “Current events have never been lacking in opportunities to talk about how American society keeps people of color down.”
Encourage a decolonized, diverse education
Make it a point to focus on non-white, non-colonial narratives, and historical figures. Diversify materials and content, and teach learning outcomes that address power and social justice.
There are so many excellent resources online (free or otherwise) that even a few minutes of googling can be illuminating. For example, if you’re Asian American and interested in social justice, there are resources that address being Asian American specifically and how it relates to social justice, like the free Asian American Toolkit.
Model actively working against unconscious bias
“Do you have friends of different races? Are you proximate to people who are different? What do you say in front of your child about people when you think they aren’t paying attention?” These are questions Grant suggested asking yourself. “Think about your answers to these questions; they will shape your child’s attitude about people who look or act differently from them.”
“Black history Is American history,” curriculum creator Danielle Slaughter told Mom.com. She works really hard to make sure her Black boys (assigned at birth) see women not only as nurturers. “Women are scientists, artists, musicians, writers, and so much more. We also teach them to be nurturers by buying them dolls and having them help take care of whoever in the house isn’t feeling well,” she elaborated.
Curate content featuring diverse people
Slaughter surrounded her kids with all types of images of Blackness in their home. “I don’t want them to ever feel like there is only one way to be Black, which can lead to anti-Blackness and respectability politics.”
Mom of four Marie Bentley Shaurette uses social media to expose her kids to content creators that exemplify diversity. “We watch Tik-Tok ASL videos or other videos with amazing creators who happen to have disabilities, doing awesome things,” she told Mom.com.
Though we’ll never raise kids without implicit bias, we can teach them how to identify and mitigate it.
“We try to be intentional about getting book, movie, and TV recommendations from people who have a different starting point from us,” high school librarian — and father of two teens — Matt McDonell told Mom.com “I try to adopt and model an assumption that people directly affected by an issue are the experts. And if I disagree, assume the disagreement is rooted in my ignorance.”
