My boy will turn 4 this summer, and he has only recently begun sleeping through the night. Considering that I once believed he’d naturally begin sleeping through on his own at six months, I’ve been waiting a while for this huge milestone.
But here’s the catch: he sleeps all the way through the night IF, and only if, either my husband or me is in the bed with him all night long.
Back when he was a baby, I fought this hard
But the new arrangement stuck
I told my husband, “You got to sleep through the night for the first three years of his life, so I think I’ll take these next few years to sleep all by myself in my own bed.”
Some of my fellow mom friends think this is bizarre. By some stroke of magic (or sleep training), their kids spend all night alone in their own bed. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing, if it’s what works for their family.
All I ask is that family and friends not knock us for our “atypical” but highly comfortable and cozy ways.
Honestly, I think it’s strange that in most Western countries, we spend our kids’ early years desperately fighting to get them to sleep alone, only to expect them to sleep in the same bed with a partner later in life.
Why?
Sleep habits differ around the world. Some kids go to bed at 7 p.m. and others, closer to 11. Some sleep alone, and many, many others sleep with parents or older siblings.
There is no single correct way to raise a child, much less get them to sleep.
So if you’re on the fence about whether or not to snuggle your babies to sleep (and all night long) and you feel pressured not to, just give in.
It’s OK
With a newborn, a Moses basket placed next to you can be a safe and cozy way to co-sleep. With a sturdy preschooler like mine, all it takes is a love of cuddles, snuggles, and the occasional elbow in the face.
I know that when my son is grown, I’ll miss these snuggly evenings. My husband will miss nights spend with our son curled up at his side.
And if you’re worried about our marriage, don’t be. According to her memoir, My Life in France, Julia Child and her husband Paul enjoyed a long and lasting love, and they slept in separate beds.
There’s really no one-size-fits-all sleep arrangement, and we’re happy with ours.
