One morning, I burst into my still-slumbering 12-year-old’s room, loudly raised the blinds, and whipped off his blanket. It was nearly 10:30, an egregious hour to still be fast asleep, I thought. “Get up. Eat breakfast. Do something,” I demanded. He rubbed his eyes, leaned back on his elbows, and simply asked, “Why, Mom?” As I opened my mouth to reply, it suddenly hit me — that was a good question.
Every day of our pre-pandemic life, my entire family had been chronically overscheduled. For my preteen, it was school followed by extracurricular clubs, basketball, or soccer. My husband and I always had work to do, with meetings, dinners, or projects keeping us out late. Even my 3-year-old logged a full day of preschool and a myriad of sports, art, music, and tumbling classes. Of course, that all evaporated once we went into mandated social isolation.
Suddenly we had spare time — a foreign concept for far too long
There is a downside to not enough downtime
According to Alvin Rosenfeld, author of The Over-Scheduled Child, the risk might include depression, anxiety, and an inability to problem-solve or be creative. Afternoons climbing trees, hiking, reading, or just daydreaming are a rarity in our tech- and activity-obsessed culture. The pandemic has helped many families, like mine, reclaim some of these traditional aspects of childhood. And all of this forced time together — as frustrating as it can be at times — has actually strengthened our family bond. I feel as if I know my children better. I understand them more.
I’m a bit sad summer is coming to an end. With the return of school inevitably comes a more regimented day. As I balance my work responsibilities with their remote learning, I am sure there will be stressful moments. Just the thought of helping with junior high math or teaching a rambunctious toddler to read gives me anxiety. But our family learned an invaluable lesson this summer. Along with all our lengthy to-dos, we will make intentional time in the schedule to unwind, to relax, and just do nothing. It’s a plan that has us all looking forward to the fall.
