You don't have to be Kim, Paris, or Pamela to make your own sex tape. Most of us have thought about making our own DIY porn, and then thought about the horror that would come if it was ever discovered by our children or posted on dlisted … okay, maybe not dlisted, but still. I had a friend who once left his sex tape in his parent's VCR, only for his mother to discover things that could have made her go blind. For those of us a little more cautious, making a sex movie can be a lot of fun. And like athletes who analyze their own play-by-play after the game, your own personal sex movie can teach you things too!
If you do it right — with thought, communication and planning — you can capture a really good shag for years to come. If you're ready to make your own kickass sex movie, here's how to give it your best shot.
First things first. Before the lights, the camera and the action — talking is essential. This sex movie may be around for an eternity, so planning out the fate of the tape can be essential for your piece of mind. I'm not talking logistics here — not the where, how and when to make the movie, but what you'll do if the movie lasts longer than your relationship does.
Even if the video is just going in the drawer, have an emergency plan in place in case you need to destroy or delete the video. Be clear about what happens and who gets to see what you make. For added protection, write out the agreement, sign it and date it. Keep it safe, with the tape, or if you've gone digital, make two copies, one for each party (or more copies if you're making a sex tape gone kinky). Keep it somewhere easy to remember and hard to find.
Lights. We all want to look our best when we're going to be immortalized naked and that means lighting matters a lot. Bare fluorescent lights, while environmentally beneficial, will not make you feel as attractive as softer light can. Unless you cover the fluorescent bulbs, with something like a china ball, you'll want to avoid them altogether. For an even more artsy flare, red and purple bulbs can change the look and feel of the sex. Finding the right light will also help you avoid seeing every wrinkle and sag.
Camera. I like using mini-dv cameras, because they use tapes and tapes tapes can be destroyed. Plus, mini-dv tapes must be played back through a mini-dv device, making it more difficult for most people to watch your sensual production.
When it comes to camera mechanics, get a tripod so that the image is stable. Find a flat surface to shoot from. Then, figure out to make yourself look fantabulous while capturing all the hot steamy sex you can.
The other important element is in how you position the camera. Yeah, yeah — you're beautiful just the way you are but thinking about the cottage cheese on your thighs can be distracting. If the camera is above you with the lens is pointing down, you'll look thinner. If you shoot from below, with the camera lens up, you won't look as svelte. Don't stick with one angle. Change the camera angles so you have new views to look at, and if you're going to edit it down, it'll make for a more exciting video. If you're worried about what might be jiggling where, check yourself out in a mirror before you figure out what positions you want to shoot. This way you'll feel confident and ready for action.
Action. Acting natural is way more difficult when the camera is on then you might think. Plot out some moves so that you don't have to edit out the parts where you're asking what to do next, or where you're taking a moment to apply more lube. Work on your transitions (practice makes perfect) and you'll impress your viewing audience (that would be you) with how coordinated you are as you go from missionary to spooning to doggie while he stays inside of you! If you prefer seeing yourself in your prime, then, as my friend Abby says, missionary is like insta-face lift. One or two of your favorite positions will turn you on and get you going and going.
In addition to lights, camera, action, there are, of course, other things to consider. Like what you wear and how you're groomed. If you're feeling shy, a wig can help bring out your inner vixen. Wearing heels, even if it's just for a second before you flop down on the mattress, makes your legs look longer and toner. Wear makeup if it'll make you feel pretty. Do your hair and nails so that they look good too. Wax or shave areas that need your attention. Showering before the shoot will also allow you to feel fresh and clean, and add some zest and zing to the hair you've got going on.
And think about your background noise. Music can either be way too distracting, or just enough of a good distraction. The more you let natural sounds prevail, the more turned on you may be post production too.
Whatever you do, making a sex movie should be fun first. If it's not, don't hit record.
