I love how the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James is inspiring women — tons of moms — to bring some kink into the bedroom … or car, office, backyard, enchanted forest. We all need a little perversion in our lives and bondage is a great way to start. But how can you bring this kind of passion into your own sex life? First you need a willing partner, of course, plus trust between the two of you, and good communication.
Next decide who will be the dominant and who will be the submissive — but take turns, at least in the beginning since dominating and surrendering are both extreme turn-ons. Though you may find you like doing one more than the other — which is where your good communication comes in. Then you are going to need a safe word so your moment of pleasure doesn't go too far into What did I do?! I don't want to do that! territory.
Once you have all that out of the way, here is how to make bondage the "tie" that binds you as a couple … and re-charges your sex life.
Get kinky with a blindfold. You don't have to buy anything special (or you can if you want). Take a silky scarf — something soft and feels nice on the skin — and decide to blindfold your partner or be the one being blindfolded. A blindfold can make the person who can see feel a little more uninhibited — her partner can't see! And for the person who is blindfolded … well, all the other senses are heightened and there is that incredible anticipation of what your partner is up to next.
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Be daring and tie up arms, legs, or both. Remember: tie up your partner with something silky. When starting out with light bondage your don't need to make big, crazy knots either. The sub should know that the tie, even if it's isn't tight, means to stay put. (Got that, sub? Good!) Plus cutting off circulation is not sexy. Some prefer handcuffs but then you have to worry about the keys, so that's up to you. Surrender is sweet — let the dom do all the work to get you all worked up to climax. Giving up control is titillating — being in control is just as exciting, too.
Spanking can be very sensual. Sometimes, while having sex, nearing orgasm, a light spank on the butt while still going at it is exactly what can bring you over the edge. If you haven't tried that, you should. This goes for men and women. Some light spanking, even just a few light spanks, while giving oral can be quite pleasurable. You can spank with a hand or a paddle.
Try whips … delicately. Whips may be best for those who love the spanking and want to make more of an "event" out of the light lashing. You can get a small whip at most sex shops and not only use it to gently whip your lover's behind, but you can tease all over by dragging, tickling almost, the tails of the whip up and down the front of your lover's body, the back … doing this when that person is blindfolded and tied up, even following the whip with your tongue … well, it's enough to make some have the Big O just thinking about it.
Have some naughty nipple play. Some love pinching with fingers, others want more concentration and love nipple clamps (daring!) — but the nipples are too often a forgotten erogenous zone. When you're the dom, don't neglect the nipples — lick, suck, pinch, tease gently with your teeth.
Express yourself. Whether you are the sub or the dom be vocal! Unless of course your dom tells you that you have to be silent (which can be very kinky fun as well). Communicating how much you like something, how you want more, More, MORE! while breathlessly moaning can bring both of you to an intense orgasm. Moan, move, squirm, breathe heavy — however you like to express yourself, do it. It's quite sexy to moan and squirm while being all tied up. Sexy to see as well.
Have you tried light bondage? Would you? What turns you on the most?
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