‘Mad Men’ Stars Jon Hamm & Jessica Pare’s Beach Bodies Are So Hot They’ll Burn Your Eyes

Jesus H. Christ. I can't even look at these Mad Men season 6 Hawaiian vacation photos without getting angry. And no, I'm not pissed because they provide a (very small) spoiler, I'm livid because I'm not Jessica Paré, aka Megan Draper. I'm also heated because I'm not sunbathing with Jon Hamm right now, either. As I stare down at my dirty jeans, my stained laptop, and my unpainted toenails, these pics just make me so envious. Their beach bodies are insane. They have cocktails. They're on a tropical island. They look so effortlessly chic that I can't help but be frowny face mad about it.

Deep breaths.

Jessica's character, Megan, has always been wonderfully stylish. From her '60s shift dresses to her coiffed bob to her fabulous matte pink lipstick and cat-eye makeup, she's exuded confidence and sexiness on the show. After all, she's a twenty-something wannabe actress married to a man with a lot of money — it makes sense that she'd be at the top of her sartorial game. Even at the beach she looks flawless — the flower-power bikini, floppy hat, and round sunnies are high-fashion late '60s, early '70s at its most colorful best.

And Don Draper, he's no slouch, either. With his tailored suits, crisp white shirts, and patent leather shoes, the man knows how to dress. His pink paisley swim trunks and gold-rimmed sunglasses are to die for, as well.

Not that she was in any of the photos, but Don's daughter on the show, Sally Draper, is enviably stylish on and off the set. Kiernan Shipka does Miu Miu better than almost anyone I've seen. And she's only 13.

Great, now I'm jealous again.

Anywhoosle. As we brace for Snoreastercane Sandy here in NYC (it's already cloudy, oh my god), I'm going to pretend I'm Jessica in a floral bikini frolicking in the sand with Jon Hamm.

Then I'm going to go get a pedicure.

How hot are Jessica and Jon?

Photo via Splash News