I've been a bridesmaid many times. I've worn dresses in every shade of pink, blue, and green. I've bought dyed-to-match shoes, and I've never, ever worn one of the dresses again — even though every bride promised me I would. And in all those times, I've never gotten puking-drunk, made out with the father of the bride, or had a nip slip.
I didn't think those things were something I should brag about. I always worked under the assumption that the job of a bridesmaid was to be helpful, to let the bride shine, and to hopefully have some fun along the way.
But then I asked women about their stories of bridesmaids gone bad, and boy, did the stories of drunks and drama roll in. After reading about the 10 bad maids in this story, told by the anonymous brides who survived them, I feel like I was basically a rock star bridesmaid after all!
Read on for all the dirt about bridesmaids gone bad; chances are your wedding will seem oh-so-tame in comparison!
Photo Drama
"My maid of honor thought it would be hilarious to make a slideshow for the reception using pictures from my bachelorette party. Yeah, seeing pictures of me doing body shots off a college kid went over SUPER well with my new in-laws. Thanks a lot, lady."
Nip Slip
"One of my bridesmaids got a boob job a few months before the wedding, but after we'd ordered dresses. The dresses were strapless, and she was busting out like WHOA. I tried to get her to add straps to her dress, but she refused.
"She popped out of her dress during 'YMCA' at the reception. Boob city. The groomsmen were thrilled!"
Ovary Friend
"She wasn't bad, exactly, but my husband's sister was a college student majoring in women's studies. She refused to use the word 'bridesmaid,' because it was too gendered and heteronormative or something. She suggested we all call each other 'ovary friends' or 'womyn assistants.' Needless to say, she didn't love the bathrobes with 'bridesmaid' on the back that I got for all the girls. Excuse me, womyn."
Ewww!
"One of my bridesmaids got drunk as a skunk and was grinding on my (divorced) dad on the dance floor. It was so gross. Apparently, they made out later in the night. Thankfully, I missed that special moment."
More from CafeMom: 13 Bridesmaid Horror Stories That Will Make Your Jaw Drop
The 'Slutty Bride Look'
"I decided not to show my dress to anyone before the wedding. I wanted a big reveal, 'oh wow!' kind of moment. I loved my dress, which cost big bucks, but was the sexy, lace-covered mermaid style I dreamed about.
"So the day of, my girls were helping me get dressed, and once I had the dress on, one of my maids looked at me and said, 'So, you went with a slutty bride look?'
"I was aiming for sexy, actually. Who tells a bride she looks slutty an hour before the wedding? Damn."
Late Sleeper
"My sister got tanked at the rehearsal dinner and overslept the next day — which was a problem, because my wedding was a late morning start. We called and called, and finally, my dad had to go to her condo and pound on the door until she finally woke up. She ended up making us two hours late for the start of the ceremony. I was super annoyed, and it cut the reception short by an hour and a half, which means I lost money because of her drunken ass."
The Drunken Toast
"My maid of honor got drunk drunk drunk, and then decided to give a toast. She talked — rambled — for five minutes about nothing. Though she did manage to drop the f-bomb five times. Finally, her husband made her sit down and shut up. I love her, but it was awful. She remembers nothing about it."
More from CafeMom: 12 Really Good Reasons to Say No to Being a Bridesmaid
The Thunder Stealer
"Oh, where to start? So, first of all, my bridesmaid was an old and dear friend, but I think she was jealous that I was the first to get married. She was kind of a pain about all of the details in the planning process and flaked on my bridal shower.
"The other thing to know is that she is a semi-professional dancer. She showed up with her tango partner as her plus-one (even though I didn't invite him), and then announced at the reception that they had a 'special surprise' for us. She changed into a sexy outfit, and they did this amazing tango, which was kind of odd, but it was right before our first dance. So then we went out to dance and looked super lame in comparison. Then, she kept her outfit on and kept taking the dance floor over with their choreographed dances. I just wanted people dancing to the electric slide, not having to step aside for random ballroom dances. Total thunder stealer."
Forced Flower Girl
"I wanted a kid-free wedding. My sister refused to come and refused to be a bridesmaid unless I made her kids ring bearer and flower girl. My parents refused to pay for my wedding if my sister wasn't in it. So, yay, I got to have a flower girl and ring bearer and had to pay extra for them to get chicken fingers to eat at the very posh cocktail party we had afterwards. I'm still bitter."
Spilling the Details
"My husband and I eloped to Vegas with only my BFF and her boyfriend, so they were our maid of honor and best man. Not only were they sloppy drunk during the ceremony, she posted pictures of it on Facebook — BEFORE I had a chance to tell my family. My mom found out we were married because [my friend] tagged me in a photo. My parents were so hurt. It was awful."
