Last year, an otherwise smooth situation got rocky for our blended family.
There were consistently late and missing pickups and drop-offs at the kids’ schools. There were repeated last-minute requests to adjust schedules we’d already agreed upon. An increase in “I thought you said…” and “I thought you meant…” misunderstandings and petty remarks and sarcastic responses.
My husband and I have been in a blended family for almost a decade — six years married and almost nine years together. With that type of longevity, we often get comfortable in our routines and take for granted the work required to maintain healthy communication and relationships in a blended family.
It’s probably time to sit down and have a conversation to realign priorities and figure out what adjustments need to be made. Keep the following in mind:
1. Realize old tools won't work for new circumstances
3. Use your manners
“Please” and “thank you” are far too underrated in 2021.
It’s still polite to ask. Don’t assume that because they moved their schedule around for you last week, they can and will do it again this week.
Simple polite tones or expressions can turn a negative conversation into a positive one. Instead of “I need you to…” try, “Would it be ok if…?” I can’t tell you how many times a change in tone not only changed the outcome but built trust and integrity among our blended family.
So please, say thank you.
4. Avoid introducing too many changes at once
It may not be a good idea to change the visitation schedule in conjunction with a new school, move, or other hiccup. The younger the children are, the more rattled they will be by too many moving parts. This may cause frustration and even blame among the parents involved. Make transitions slowly and steadily.
Read the last tip over at Mater Mea where this piece was originally published. It has been reprinted with the author's permission.
