Team meeting tonight at 8:00 p.m. sharp.
One might think that an announcement like that was an email sent to some sort of shift employees ready to begin their night shift at a hospital or warehouse.
In reality, it was a text from me to my husband.
Yes, we have "business meetings"
Check in
We always start by just doing a quick check on each other. How are we each doing emotionally? Physically? Are either of us feeling more overwhelmed than usual? Does one of us feel like we’re coming down with a cold? What is the state of our union?
Needs
This part is important. While we each might hope that merely sharing that we have a sore throat would result in the other picking up the slack, this is where misunderstandings happen, feelings get hurt, and people get pissed. Maybe I need to stay up late and write one evening and could use an extra hour of sleep the next morning. Can he make sure to get up with the kids and cover breakfast? Maybe he has a football game he’d like to watch without the distractions offered by our children. Could I choose that time to take the kids to the park? Specifically explaining the support that we need and what it looks like helps avoid frustration later.
Calendar and logistics
We go over our calendar and what obligations are musts. Who needs to take one kid to practice while the other stops at the store? One of us has a late meeting on Thursday and dinner will be late. After the musts have been covered, we add any optional/more flexible calendar items, like a happy hour with the girls, grandparents who want to stop by sometime this week, or a round of golf that would be nice to fit in if possible.
Sex
Yes, we schedule it. Say what you will, but right now, for us, scheduling sex is the only way to ensure that we make it a priority. We are busy, tired working parents juggling more than we probably should, and sex just doesn’t happen spontaneously very often. After getting our calendar figured out, we pencil in a couple of romps at times that make sense. (Often right after our meeting feels like the perfect opportunity.)
Now, did I ever think that I’d be having business meetings with my husband?
No.
To some it might seem that we've reached a point in our relationship where we’re more like business partners and all the spontaneity is gone. And maybe they’re right.
All I can say is that these weekly check-ins have been a marriage saver. We both leave our meetings feeling like we're on the same page, connected, heard, and supported. After all, marriage and having a family is a bit of a business — finances are key, job descriptions are unnegotiable, and logistics are vital. So, being deliberate about a time to nail down that week’s business plan just makes sense.
Now, excuse me while I slide into bed next to my business partner. We’ve got sex scheduled in six minutes and I don’t want to be late.
