How will you meet the Grim Reaper?
Taurus
Cause of Death: Stomach rupture (after being declared champion of the pie-eating contest)
Is there anything better to a Taurus than silky chocolate-cream filling, a flaky, buttery crust and the announcement over a microphone that she won the competition by consuming 8 pies in under 5 minutes? Maybe the sweet relief of death when her over-filled, aching stomach tears apart, killing her instantly.
Photo via USAG-Humphreys/Flickr CC
Gemini
Cause of Death: Obnoxiously dancing and breaking her neck
Gemini loves to be the center of attention. While visiting the Sahara Desert on a tour, she tries to liven up the party by attempting a ballet leap in the sand. Unfortunately for her, her footwork was less than exact and she lands wrong, causing her to cascade down a dune and sever her spinal cord. Oops.
Photo via EladeManu/Flickr CC
Cancer
Cause of Death: Sudden cardiac arrest after winning the lottery
Practical, persistent Cancer just can't believe their good fortune after winning a massive lottery jackpot. In fact, the combination of sheer disbelief and complete amazement are too much for this delicate crab to handle, and just a day after winning, their heart gives out. Thankfully, they had the foresight to leave their winnings to their beloved cat, Spunky, so he can live a long, catnip-filled life of luxury.
Photo via Matthew Anderson/Flickr CC
Leo
Cause of Death: Flattened like a pancake by Helga, their roller-derby arch nemesis
Take-no-prisoners Leo has had a long beef with opposing derby girl Helga Von Hellschmidt, the biggest, baddest Brunhilda on wheels. In an unfortunate row, Leo is toppled by Helga's massive body weight and dough-rolled by 20 pairs of rollerskates that glide across her fishnet-creased, lifeless body.
Photo via Andrew Braithwaite/Flickr CC
Virgo
Cause of Death: Caving and eating that gas station sushi roll
Worrywart Virgo is usually so careful about what they put in their mouth, especially with their vast knowledge of every potential food-borne illness they could contract. However, their judgment is skewed one hot summer day during an extended road trip, when Virgo eats a slightly warm mystery-meat stuffed hand roll and winds up in the hospital with parasites that wormed their way into her brain, ceasing life as she knew it.
Photo via Ryan Latta/Flickr CC
Libra
Cause of Death: Climax-induced stroke
Loves-to-be-in-love Libra can't get enough of the good stuff with her partner, and during an extended sex session, while in the throes of an intense orgasm, she suffers a sudden brain aneurysm that leads to a stroke that, within seconds, renders her lifeless. Her partner, unfortunately, was experiencing their own release before realizing their Libra lover had perished.
Photo via Eleazar/Flickr CC
