If you are unhappy in your marriage, you might think that a divorce is an automatic solution to finding joy again. That isn’t true. Being happy divorced often requires a plan and work to make sure you are healing and moving on in a healthy way. Keep in mind that a happy divorce doesn’t mean there isn’t conflict; it means that you are a happier person with more fulfillment in your life getting out of the marriage.
If you want to divorce happy, you need to reduce the stress that occurs in the divorce process and with co-parenting that happens until the kids are on their own. The good news is that even with the most contentious divorces, you can divorce happy and keep your sanity during a split — I did.
Here are 6 tips for you to divorce happy:
Separating things emotionally
Your kids and co-parenting
5. Be considerate of your kids’ needs.
Every child will react to the divorce differently based on their personality, age, and understanding of the situation. Never complain about your ex to your children — easier said than done but so important. Even if you are mad at your ex for something he did or didn’t do for your children, let your kids formulate their own opinions. Instead, be cognizant of how your kids are feeling about the divorce and supportive of their struggles, too.
Very young children aren’t likely to remember mom and dad together after some time. They’ll adapt to the situation. But older children may regress or develop behavior issues because they don’t know how to process the change in the household. You make this process easier for them by supporting their relationship with their dad.
6. Accept that you have no control over your ex.
You may have some very strong feelings about how your ex’s parenting decisions and chances are they aren’t good feelings. But unless there is something very specifically outlined in the custody order, realize you can’t control how your ex parents. What happens at dad's pretty much stays at dad’s unless it is harmful or endangering. Lisa Adams has two children and was concerned about her young kids going hunting with her ex. “I didn’t want them to go," she told Mom.com. "I even tried to get that outlined in the custody order, but when that didn’t happen I had to accept that he would take them.”
To hear experienced insight from divorce attorney Jonna Spilbor on the importance of self-care during divorce, check out this episode of Divorce Tips:
