Their Baby's Pacifier
Extended Breastfeeding
You think you've got problems, bottle-fed baby? What about your best bud, the breast-fed toddler? Now that's a kid who gets some stares, hostility and pushy advice about appropriate behavior. Extended breastfeeders would really prefer less focus on their chests and a little more eye contact from a fellow, judgment-free mom.
Driving a Minivan
Ever notice how moms who go out and get minivans often apologize in advance and frequently revisit their professed love for said vehicle? It's because they get judged. Yeah, maybe not every space is filled for every trip. Maybe it's not cool and sporty like a Subaru Outback. But she'd like to ask you before a judgmental word is uttered from your lips: Who's the first person you call for carpool? Mmm-hmm—the minivan mom.
Not Getting an Epidural
Incredibly, a personal decision about a medical procedure is everyone's business. A mom's interest in trying to give birth without anesthesia is, for some people, not made with regard to her health. Rather it's a statement about what everyone else is doing in their labor and delivery room. Sometimes a birth without intervention is just that: a birth … without intervention. Other women's births aren't part of her equation.
C-section
Moms who scheduled their C-sections, or accepted their doctor's recommendation that the baby be born surgically, would prefer you turn that judgment-filled frown upside down. Women don't owe others an explanation for their choices. They deserve to be listened to, celebrated and supported—whatever her situation calls for.
Using Childcare
Some moms have to return to work after having a baby, even when they don't want to. Some moms have a choice whether or not to return, and they really, really want to go back to their jobs. Those women often use childcare. Neither of these women needs your commentary about how you'd never "let someone else" raise your kid.
Her Values
It's a surprise to many who hold strict ideas about how kids should be raised that people have different values for themselves and their kids. And that's OK—great even. But moms whose values aren't in sync with others would rather just go about parenting their kids and not have to field your concerns about how they see things and what they're doing. Keep your disappointment to yourself.
