Kids' poems have come a looooong way from "Roses are red, violets are blue." Today's little humans seem much more, er, candid, occasionally vengeful, and unintentionally hilarious. (And in a few cases, borderline disturbing!)
If your child has not yet brought home a haiku that's an ode to his underpants or your bad mood, click through the slideshow and marvel at the masterpieces you have to look forward to.
Would you rethink your relationship with your kid if they gave you #12??
Image via reddit
The Consolation Prize
What's behind this heartfelt ode to Mom? Apparently it was written after Dad gobbled down the family's stash of Chex Mix, and Mom was none too pleased.
The Sweet (?) Ending
This dad has one creative daughter. Her Father's Day masterpiece cycles through sarcasm and an unforgiveable Harry Potter curse to wide-eyed, innocent love. (We think.)
The Straightforward Approach
Some kids are excited to write a haiku. Others, like the scribe here, ONLY do so because their teacher told them they absolutely must — and they want to make damn sure everyone knows.
The Honest Touch
Some budding poets write what they THINK you want to hear. Other brave souls give you a sneak peek at their deepest, darkest secrets involving….paper.
More from The Stir: 11 'I'm Sorry' Letters from Kids Who Actually Aren't a Bit Sorry
The Love Letter
This little boy is nothing but honest about his love for his uncle. Or he just likes to rhyme.
The Ode to a Beloved Pet
Why wax poetic about your dog when you can tell the truth? This kid apparently loves his dog DESPITE all his shortcomings. (Which is actually pretty sweet.)
The Future Hollywood Director
Sometimes all it takes to succeed is thinking YOUR creation is the best. We think this very young writer has a Hollywood career in his future.
The Small Poem With a Big Story
It's only three lines, but this poem is still somehow packed with action! Intrigue! Mystery! Kudos to this kiddo for packing his poem with some serious narrative.
More from The Stir: 15 Unintentionally Hilarious and Inappropriate Kid Drawings (PHOTOS)
The Sibling Valentine
We're guessing there are some serious — and seriously passive-aggressive — kid arguments in this household, if this 8-year-old's "loving" poem to her brother is any indication.
The Accidental NSFW
To kids, sometimes a ball is just a ball. To us, um, well, there are other meanings …
The PSA
Remember those hazy, crazy D.A.R.E. days? This kid REALLY took them to heart.
The Twisted Ending
And this Mother's Day poem starts off so sweet!
More from The Stir: 14 Mother's Day Cards from Kids Who Meant Well, But…
The Tortured Soul
Poor dude. We can't wait to see the poem he writes after having to learn fractions.
The End of the Line
Why SAY something threatening when you can write it in a poem — and even title it!
The Not-So-Fond Walk Down Memory Lane
This author, now an adult, posted a Mother's Day poem he penned when he was 4 years old. We wonder if he dared show it to his mom??
The Grand Finale
You might THINK you know just where this poem is going — until you get to the hilarious (and um, smelly) ending. Points for being unpredictable, kid. We hope you made it out alive.
More from The Stir: 10 Hilariously 'Threatening' Letters from Kids
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
