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Ah, the many joys of having a toddler. They laugh, they play, they reenact the movie Frozen scene-by-scene, they — oh God, I opened my child's banana peel for him and now he's on the floor crying. We've all been there. The inexplicable fits and tears that make parenting *ahem* a "joy." In an attempt to document these cherished memories, the Instagram account ThatParentLife — formerly known as AssholeParents, where parents could share all the ways they're inadvertently ruining their toddlers' lives — is giving moms and dads a platform to share the absolute craziest reason their kids threw a fit.
Take this little guy, whose mom says he was a *little* frustrated by his Popsicle experience.
She writes, "I'm an #assholeparent because the popsicle is too cold to hold. He won't hold it by the stick no matter what though."
Makes sense.
Or, there's this mom, who would argue she was just doing her ... duty.
"Because I did not let her eat bird poop," she explains.
This mom writes, "I won't make her a 'chicken smoothie.'"
Nope, nope, nope.
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Though this boy says he "loves" his bike, his mom has her suspicions ...
She writes, "[H]e doesn't like his bike when there are stones/leaves/grass/mud in his way, puddles of any size, when he gets stuck, walls, when it's raining, when we walk too fast and when we walk too slow… but he loves his bike if the conditions are up to his standards!"
And if you want your daily dose of ewwww, look no further.
"Reason No. 328964 my kid is crying: I wouldn't eat the piece of cheese that she just spit out and is covered in mushy cracker spit," writes one frustrated parent.
This one is a puzzler: "When you give your toddler the chocolate chip cookie they request after their nap."
Wait, wha — ? How?? UGH, forget it.
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This little girl is throwing a fit because "she also wants my slice."
Doesn't she know there's no crying over sliced watermelon?!
This guy is upset because "the spoon that he wants is taken," his mom writes.
*SIGH*
And, apparently even when you're being a nice mom, you're actually being an #assholemom.
This mom writes, "I bought him a treat at the coffee shop, but we had to go home to eat it so I'm the #assholeparent." She adds that a "random passerby" noted that "it sounds like you're trying to kill him." Lovely.*SIGH
We don't know if we should laugh or if we should cry.
All we know is that it's only 16 more years until college.
