It's simple to place blame after the fact when a marriage falls apart. It's also even easier to gloss over the real problems instead of trying to understand how things progressed the way they did. As a busy mom, Leslie Spurlock has seen countless men give the same tired reasons for divorce and infidelity. Yep, she took to Facebook to fight back on the idea that "She's not the woman I married" as a reason for acting a fool or giving up on a relationship.
"I am here to agree with you," she wrote in a Facebook post that has since gone viral. "She's not the same woman that could go to bed at 11pm, and sleep through until the next morning when she could crawl out of bed, take a shower, brew a cup of coffee, and leisurely drink it while she was painting on her face and curled her hair, map out an hour and a half every day for the gym, or spend 2 hours in Ross deciding if that outfit really was cute."
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Spurlock admits that most women aren't the same brides they once were after having kids, and any husband who expects that has a serious problem.
"She is the woman that now gets kids into bed, binge watches her shows until midnight (because every day is just that exhausting when you're home with children), is up 1-1,000,000 times before the sun is up, then wakes up with the kids to do it all over again. Every day," she wrote. "She's the woman that gets puked on when there's a tummy bug, and the one that is used as a Kleenex when the cold makes its rounds through the house."
She may not give you the same time or energy that she once did, but Spurlock explains that it's not always because she doesn't want to - and that's what partners need to understand.
"She's the woman that is sometimes so exhausted from nursing babies, chasing toddlers, chauffeuring school aged children, talking on the phone with her heartbroken adult children that she sometimes doesn't have the energy to give you," she wrote. "She's depleted."
Becoming a mom doesn't just take its toll on a woman physically and emotionally; it completely changes her to the core. "So no, her body is not the body you married – it has birthed humans. Her mind is not the same – she has many more things filling the once empty spaces," she wrote. "Her patience is not the same – she's used it up on the children, most days. She is not the same woman you married, and thank God for that."
And in case anyone wonders what happens when moms take a split second for themselves to try putting makeup on or getting dressed in something other than leggings, let Spurlock's kiddo explain why moms can't just "recharge." A second away and they pay for it with a milk-soaked mess!
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