If you're the parent of a baby, there's a good chance you've been covered in baby poop more times than you'd care to admit. If you add older siblings and pets to the mix? Well, that's a recipe for a poop-tastrophe of epic proportions. Just ask Constance Hall, a well-known parenting blogger and mom of seven, who got super real on Facebook about the night multiple kid and pet poop accidents left her looking "like someone who had just lost a live game show and had a bucket of sh*t thrown at them."
It was Hall's youngest, 5-month-old Raja, who started the poo-pocalypse with a diaper blowout after two days of constipation.
Constance had just woken up to feed her baby and was mid-diaper change when her 3-year-old, Rumi, ran in to let her know the dog had pooped "all over the house." Then her 8-year-old, Billie-Violet, yelled that Rumi's twin, Snow, had peed her pants.
It was right at that moment that little Raja decided he wasn't finished pooping yet. "Looking at Raja’s bum, I lifted his two legs with one hand, and with a nappy wipe in the other started to wipe his bum clean," Hall wrote. "At that very time I felt a suspicious tightening of his core that I could only relate to pushing. … No … Yes … Oh yes. He pushed out more thick yellow poo then I’ve ever seen a baby do and it went all over yours truly."
Baby poop all over the place is bad enough, but here's the worst part: Hall was sitting there naked.
"I sleep naked, so I was cleaning him with my legs crossed on my bed and his shit went all over my tits, my tummy, my pubes and yes … inside me," she wrote. "I looked like someone who had just lost a live game show and had a bucket of sh*t thrown at them. But it was so much worse because I could feel it slopping around my poor old vag and the first thought that went through my head was THRUSH."
Hall left the rest of the diaper change to her husband and rushed to the shower.
"I basically douched myself," she recalled. "This was all before 7:00 a.m. I cannot imagine what other weird and wondrous events this day of running on no sleep at all has in store for me."
Pretty much every parent could relate to Hall's story, and they started sharing their own baby poop horror stories.
Oh, the life of a mom.