When awful things happen to people we care about, it's usually a normal empathetic practice to worry about how we'd react in their shoes. Empathy can quickly turn to transference when we start searching for unfettered drama in our own life.
That seems to be happening to one dad who is now demanding his wife gets their son a paternity test after she conceded she had suspicions about his friend's son but never said anything.
"My best friend recently found out that the child he thought was his son actually isn't his son," the dad explains.
"He was devastated when he found out but so too was our group of friends and especially me. I never in 1,000 years would have thought his wife would cheat on him or pretend her child was my friend's."
The dad went on to explain that this has taken a real toll on him, because he believed his friend's wife to be a good person and totally trustworthy. It made him think: "If she can be so sweet and caring on the outside [but] harbor these types of secrets, anyone is capable of anything."
When the dad learned his own wife suspected it, it really threw him for a loop.
She didn't know for sure, but based off of conversations she had with the man's wife (they are best friends) she thought there was a possibility.
So the dad totally spiraled.
"Ever since I found out about this and that my wife might have known I have been having doubts about whether my son is really my son," he confessed. "I do not have any reason to suspect my wife cheated on me, but my friend probably would have said the same thing at one point. I also am concern[ed] considering my wife had doubts but never approached my friend. Would she have said anything if he had not found out? I don't know, and that concerns me because I see it as a major character issue."
So the dad worked up the nerve and asked her for a paternity test, listing all of the aforementioned reasons as to why.
His wife agreed but is utterly beyond furious with him.
"I don't think she has any right to be angry after she hid information from my friend," he boldly stated. "Who is to say she would not do the same to me if she is comfortable with keeping info like that a secret?"
But still, he wanted to know, was he justified in asking for a test?
People were a little baffled at the conclusions he was jumping to.
"i think that you're blowing what happened out of proportion greatly," one reader flatly stated. "I can totally understand being upset that your wife didn't mention anything, but jumping from that to accusing her of infidelity seems a bit much. She may have just felt that it wasn't her place to bring up."
Others noted his actions were going to lead him and his wife down a dark rabbit hole.
"If the test comes back and you're confirmed as the Dad is everything going to be ok and will you totally trust your wife," posits one reader. "Or will you need a paternity test for the next child? Maybe she could carry a GPS tracker so you check she's where she says she is at any time. At what stage are you going to be satisfied? If you don't trust her then you don't trust her and she has every right to be furious with you about that."
Perhaps most poignantly, people pointed out that his wife did nothing wrong by not speaking up.
"Your wife didn’t know for a fact, and I’m sure never said anything because it wasn’t her place if she wasn’t sure," confirmed one user. "Also she’s probably only more sure now that the news is out. You’re making another family’s problems your family’s problems."
Here's to hoping these two can work it out and recover from this dad's major misstep.
