A 12-year-old boy is internet famous after delivering the most epic wedding day speech on his mom's big day. Hailing from Essex, England, Jake Milton was bestowed the honor of being best man at his mother's beautiful backyard nuptials, and let's just say, he took that honor very seriously. Well, sort of …
Clearly quite the character, Jake took the opportunity to throw some serious jabs at his new stepdad. Despite what looks to have been a brief engagement for the couple, leaving Jake little time to prepare, he ended up delivering the most hilariously funny, heart-melting, and endearing best man speech ever. Like his mom said when she shared the video on TikTok, it was "legendary."
Jake went all in with the burns directed toward his new stepdad, Tony.
After introducing himself, Jake quickly jumps into the meat of his speech.
"Tony, I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out had mom met someone else all those years ago — maybe Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. Just someone rich basically," he declares in the clip. "For god’s sake, Tony. Why do you have to be a police officer?" he asks.
Cue the laughter. It's tradition for the best man to pepper his wedding speech with some jokes and poke fun at the groom, right? Of course, it is.
Jake seems to have mastered what we'll call the backhanded barb.
Jake didn't dole out backhanded compliments. He did however, deliver backhanded insults. He took some pretty funny digs at Tony, but he actually didn't mean any of them.
Keep listening, and you'll hear Jake concurrently point out many of the amazing and memorable moments he's shared with his stepdad.
"With that being said, I don’t think Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos would wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning to watch a four-hour-long superhero film with me,” he continues. “Nor would they let me watch Stephen King’s It when I was only 7… Tony, you're such a terrible person."
These two clearly have an incredible relationship.
Although peppered with tween sarcasm, Jake's speech was packed with anecdotes illustrating just how much love and affection the two have for each other.
"I don’t think that Jeff Bezos would have the skills to make a Halloween costume in 10 minutes that was so bloody good that it made a 4-year-old boy cry and caused the person in the care home window to have a heart attack," Jake says.
"Elon Musk would definitely have not spent three hours at the park teaching me how to use my size and strength in a football match," he adds.
Honestly at this point, we're not sure how Jake's mom was even holding it together.
Jake reflected on what he might have had.
"If Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos were my stepdad I would have a king-size bed with a [television] coming out the bottom of it,” he asserts. “And I’d have an allowance of £100,000 a month. I’d be driving around in my supercar. Actually, come to think of it, I can’t drive. Nah, doesn’t matter. I’d have a chauffeur."
But Jake knows that what Tony has given him is far more important and wasn't afraid to let everyone else know. "In the end, though, I would have all this stuff but I wouldn’t have Tony. And my mom would have a really ugly new husband," he concludes.
Yup, cue the tears.
TikTok has so much love for this family.
This mama must feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Seriously. She's found love and an amazing father figure for her son, who is clearly growing up to be a smart, thoughtful, and grounded human being.
"Okay I am at work I can’t be crying like this this is the cutest thing ever congratulations what a lovely family ❤️," someone commented.
"Sounds like Jake and Tony are going to be keeping you on your toes ," another person wrote.
"You can just tell that these two have the BEST bond! I pray that my kids have this one day ," reads another comment.
"The things he's remembering are his precious memories. You've got two lovely men in your life," someone else chimed in.
And of course, there were tons of people who are beyond impressed with Jake.
"This was the best, best man speech I’ve ever heard. What an amazing young man," someone commented.
"Did he write this all by himself? This is very clever! Good lad x," another person wrote.
We agree with all of the above and hope this beautiful family continues to grow their bond and love for each other.
