When your baby has a dirty diaper, it can be easy to switch right into "mommy mode" and get the little one cleaned up ASAP. But there are some places where an impromptu diaper change may not be appreciated and might even spark a fight. Take a restaurant, for example. One mom learned this after changing her little one's diaper while at her friend's house while sitting on the floor and getting some major backlash for it.
Most people can agree that no one wants a dirty diaper right near their food, especially while they're trying to eat. One woman’s husband, however, didn’t seem to realize that their dinner table wasn’t the right place to clean his niece’s dirty diaper and now the Original Poster is sharing just how much his dining snafu embarrassed her.
The OP and her husband have been married for 14 months.
In that time, she’s learned that he adores his 1-year-old niece.
“He always babysits whenever he's got nothing to do. I help with whatever I can. We haven't gotten out for a nice dinner in a while,” she explained in a post on Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum.
So she asked him if they could go out to dinner for a nice date night, just the two of them.
She arranged everything but was in for a big surprise when the date finally came.
“Since I couldn't take the day off I left work early and went to meet him there at the restaurant,” she recalled. “I walked in and saw my husband sitting and his niece in a car seat by the table. I asked and he said his sister had work and wanted him to watch his niece.”
He told her that everyone else was out of town.
That meant that he was the only one who could take care of the baby. Unfortunately, it was not a child-friendly restaurant and the OP “noticed the restaurant staff were giving us looks.”
Her niece started crying as soon as they started to order their meals, and her husband kept asking the waitress about things that were clearly not on the menu for the girl to eat.
“I couldn't take the looks from people unable to enjoy their meals cause of the noise husband's niece was making,” she recalled. “Especially when he started singing You're Welcome from the Moana movie while swinging her.”
The OP went to the restroom, but moments later she heard her husband arguing loudly with someone.
“I went to see that he was actually trying to change his niece's diaper on the table,” she explained. “The waitress was arguing with him. I was in shock. The manager came after my husband said he'd take a minute to get it done.”
Unsurprisingly, the couple was asked to leave, but as soon as they got outside the OP blew up. She told her husband that he should have told her that he was bringing his niece and she would’ve picked a different restaurant.
She told him that he embarrassed her by ruining their dinner and getting them kicked out.
“He started arguing with me like I was one of his students after I refused to get in the car,” she recalled. “Giving me 0/10 for my reaction and claiming I picked a bad restaurant.”
He told her that she needed to understand that he was helping his sister, but the OP still decided to take an Uber and go home.
“He went to his sister's place and called saying I shouldn't have left like that and made him feel guilty for wanting to help. But I didn't respond,” she shared.
“He thinks my reaction was over the top and honestly I have no idea why he thinks people should mind their own business when he's behaving like that in a public place.”
Some people agreed that diaper duty should have not been on the menu.
“[Not the a–hole.] He should have told you, so you could have gone somewhere else to eat,” wrote one commenter. “Also: Changing diapers in the middle of a restaurant is absolutely not acceptable.”
“NTA. This is gross,” someone else added. “Your husband should have given you the heads up so you could book a different restaurant or even declined his sisters request because it was your date night. Thank you for being the only self-aware adult at that table. Some places are just not suitable for young children.”
“NTA. Yeah, it's sweet that he loves the little girl so much, and it sounds like he's good with her, but good lord, there's a time and a place. He needs to be more considerate of other people,” a third commenter agreed.
Other people thought the wife was wrong for not getting them out of the restaurant sooner.
“[Everyone Sucks Here]. Your husband for obvious reasons, but you shouldn't have even gotten to that point," one person explained. "As soon as you saw the kid you should've left and gone somewhere else."
"ESH. Him for not mentioning to you he has a baby with him, but you as well for not leaving sooner," chimed in a second person. "You knew a baby wasn’t welcome, you saw people rightfully looking at her like a ticking time bomb. I’m shocked they let you stay as long as you did and I can only hope the despicable diaper changing incident got you banned from coming back."
"[You're the a–hole]. Seems like you knew there would be a possibility of him watching his niece because he does it frequently," added another commenter. "If you wanted alone time with him to have a date night, you should’ve clarified that. He’s dumb for changing a baby on a table. I think you were right to be upset about that."
Later, the woman shared that she tried to explain to her husband that the diaper change was gross to the other people around them. The issue is that he told her that he didn't care what other people thought and told her "that they should just mind their own business."
"He claims that I'm against the idea of him spending time with his niece but that is not true," she wrote.
Perhaps the OP needs to put it this way: He wouldn't go to the bathroom in the middle of a restaurant, no matter where they were eating, and that rule also applies when it comes to kids and their diaper changes.
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