What to Know
Pro tip: if you’re going to complain about your spouse on social media, you better be ready for the internet to support you while also expecting you to leave your spouse immediately. When a wife and mother in TikTok, Zabe Gill, posted a video to complain about her husband and his treatment of her, that’s exactly what happened. In quick succession, users came to her defense, urged her to leave her husband, and then admonished her when they realized that complaining about the guy is the furthest she’ll go.
Still, some people in the comments supported Zabe when she opened up about her husband being inconsiderate while she made breakfast for their family. Zabe’s goal seemed to be to vent and get out her frustration about the ordeal. She also got marriage advice, though, so airing it out on TikTok was definitely a choice.
A wife said her husband made everyone, but her breakfast and other women can relate.
@zabegill85 Real and raw #married #sad #sahm #fyp ♬ original sound – Zabe Gill
In her video, Zabe explains how she usually makes breakfast every weekend for the entire family. But, on the one morning she decided to lay back down and her husband took over, he did so in what some see as a passive aggressive move. Instead of doing as Zabe does and making breakfast for everyone, her husband cooked for himself and their kids only.
“While I was laying down, not sleeping, laying down, he made breakfast for himself and the kids. He made French toast and, you know, all of those things. And so then I come out and I’m like, oh, what did you make me?,” Zabe says in the TikTok. “Nothing. Like, not even a thought in his mind to be like, ‘oh, I’m making breakfast. I should also include my wife, because every time she makes breakfast, she just does it for me without asking.’”
She also says that her husband’s excuse was that he didn’t know she likes French toast. She does, just for the record, but she’s trying not to eat it as much for health reasons
“Even if I would have said, ‘no, thank you,’ I didn’t even have that opportunity yet,” Zabe explains. “I’m expected to ensure every single person is fed every single day in this house for every single meal. And when it comes to me, ‘yeah, she’ll figure it out. She doesn’t matter.’ I get so much anxiety, and it’s depressing that this is where I’m at in life. Anyways, I had to share because I don’t want to lose it today. And maybe somebody will say it’s a valid feeling to feel this way.”
She also declares in the TikTok that her husband must hate her. And, in the comments, some users were inclined to agree, but only to offset the fact that they also told her to leave the man.
“Passive aggressive punishment for laying down when he was expecting breakfast,” one user commented, as an explanation for Zabe’s husband’s behavior.
Another wrote, “He doesn’t hate you…He simply doesn’t see you. And that’s far worse.”
“Waking up and making breakfast for everyone in the house EXCEPT for your spouse is diabolical…I’m so sorry,” someone else commented on the post.
A user also wrote in the comments, “Every divorced woman remembers that exact moment when she could no longer be in denial about the obvious.”
To that, someone replied, “Mine was on vacation at Sea World…He screamed at me so bad a stranger female) asked if I was ok…I was DONE.”
“He started refusing to spend time with us,” another wife shared. “He would not allow (his words) me to leave the house without at least one of the kids because he didn’t want to “babysit” his kids.”
She later said she got hate for the video from men.
@zabegill85 Don’t be that guy #sahm #married #fyp ♬ original sound – Zabe Gill
In a follow-up video, Zabe says that she received a lot of kind comments and DMs from women who were impacted by her video about the breakfast fiasco. But, she also says, she received messages from angry men who were quick to call her “ungrateful” and that she posted the video in the hopes that it would go viral.
According to Zabe, though, that was the whole point. She says that her issue with her husband is “relatable” and that it deals with the kind of feelings that other people have about their spouses.
“I had a feeling, I posted it on the internet just saying that I felt sad because I wasn’t considered, and I’m being called ungrateful,” she explains.
People still want her to leave her husband.
@zabegill85 Hit and run! #sahm #married #fyp ♬ original sound – Zabe Gill
But it isn’t just men who are after Zabe now. After she posted a video cooking dinner, in which she says she really has no choice but to keep making dinner for her family, people commented to criticize her for complaining about her husband, but not doing anything to make the behavior change.
“LEAVE HIM,” one user commented, in no uncertain terms.
“Am I the only one who came here hoping you were saying how [you’re] NOT cooking dinner for your husband?” Another added.
However, someone else advised, “Keep posting, make more money, [and] take care of yourself while you mentally and financially prepare to leave that man, babes.”
It’s a running theme with viral videos and interactions like this, though. Users expect the wife to either leave them out of it or leave the husband.
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