My 6-year-old daughter has been asking for a little sibling ever since her younger cousin was born. Her requests became more insistent after her aunt announced that she was pregnant again and Cousin Abby was going to have a little sister! My husband and I had been trying for the better part of a year, only able to consider having another child after we finally moved into a home that was big enough for another baby. I was feeling the tightening of the pregnancy noose — I’m 37, and my husband is older than me. Were we going to be able to have a second child, as we’d always planned? Things weren’t looking good.
At last, the fairy-tale ending! I’m pregnant! I’m 9 weeks in. Wow, it’s a miracle, right?
Yep, it’s a miracle, all right
The physical symptoms are pretty awful, sure, but for me the mental struggles are even worse
I had just found a mixture of medication that allowed me to function somewhat close to what a neurotypical person can do, and now I can’t take my pills until after I’m done breastfeeding … in like two years.
My ADHD symptoms are 10 times worse. I can’t keep a thought in my head. I can’t remember what I was doing when I walked into a room or why I went there in the first place. It usually takes me about two hours to write a blog post. I had to write this one in little chunks over a day because I couldn’t stay focused long enough to do more than a couple of paragraphs at a time. Literally all I want to do is watch cheesy horror movies and lie in bed with my cats. Doing anything else feels like physical pain in my brain.
And life doesn’t just stop because you get pregnant
I’m still working on community events I’ve organized, teaching summer school, staying on top of trying to get ready for this baby, and keeping numerous other commitments I made before this pregnancy essentially made me brain-damaged.
I’m only on week 9 — maybe in three weeks this will clear up as much as can be expected? I certainly hope so. Moms, if it’s been a while since you’ve been pregnant, prepare yourself: It’s way worse than you remember. Make sure you have the ginger tea stocked and your anti-nausea prescriptions filled, because darling, you’re in for a ride.
