Being a mother is hard and it often feels as though being a good mother is impossible. Everyone and their sister wants tell you how to do it, and many parenting philosophies try to convince you that their way is the only right way. Add to that a culture that loves to split things into black-and-white categories and you end with a whole generation of mothers worried that they are bad moms. A mistake becomes more than that, it becomes a definition of who you are as a mother.
I'm not here to tell you that there's no such thing as a bad mother
Even good moms have unhappy kids sometimes
Please don't use your child's happiness as a measure of your worth as a mother. Kids are people just like us, they have hard days and different personalities. Some are easygoing and jolly by nature and others are quite sullen and inflexible. You do not get to choose your child's temperament.
If having a happy kid was a clear indicator of good parenting, we would all just sit them in front of their favorite screen with an endless parade of treats. Good moms sometimes make their children upset.
Good moms have children that tantrum and pout and misbehave
Motherhood is fraught with challenges, and it's not the absence of challenge that makes a mother great, but how she meets those challenges. Do you love your frustrated child as much as your laughing one?
There is no one perfect way to parent, but there are so many right ways. If you are trying to be a good mom, you already are one. And if you give your child unconditional love, you are a great one.
