For those of you do engage in ladyscaping down there, I've just heard about the latest trend in bikini waxes. But it's not even going to make sense when I describe it, so sit down and get ready to hear the most mind-meltingly absurd personal grooming idea ever. Ready? It's called the full-bush Brazillian.
Basically you're rocking a 70's vibe (as Gwyneth once put it) in the front, but waxing everything else bare. Your undercarriage? Zip. The front of you? Full cavewoman. For real. This is a thing women are getting done … supposedly.
So basically it's the reverse mohawk of bikini waxes. The thought that comes to most people's minds when they first hear about it is, WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT? Let's explore this question together.
Apparently girls with "hippie boyfriends" are requesting this wax because it's something the guys want. I guess? Who are these hippie boyfriends, anyway? Because they're kind of trying to have it both ways: Nature girl in the front, porn star in the back.
Another thing: The front is the easiest part to wax. That takes a few seconds! It's the undercarriage that takes time and precision. So this isn't even going to make my life easier. Not that I would try it anyway — because here's another problem.
More from The Stir: My Home Bikini Wax Ended in Disaster
What in Sam hell are you supposed to do when you wear a bikini? The whole point of a bikini wax is to wrangle the bush so there's no peeking around the triangle. I guess if you're going with the full-bush Brazilian, you're maybe wearing a Land's End one-piece as well. Maybe one of those skirt suits, even.
All I can think is that what's really going on here is women are just sick of the usual and want to try something new. And there's only so much you can do down there. We've already done dye jobs, vajazzling, creative hedge trimming. I guess the only thing left is the reverse full-bush Brazilian. Ugh … that actually sounds worse. But you know someone is going to try to make it happen.
I know what you're thinking, women who don't bother with any sort of hair removal down there at all …
Is the full-bush Brazilian something you would try? Do you get the appeal at all?
Image via Dave and Les Jacobs/Blend Images/Corbis
