Matthew McConaughey is famous for being one of the most chill, laid-back guys in Hollywood — alright, alright, alright — but when it comes to raising his three children, he’s all about rules and discipline. Over the years, the Dallas Buyers Club star has shared surprising insights into his parenting style, and it’s clear that he believes in providing structure and holding his kids accountable when they’ve misbehaved.
But that doesn’t mean he’s a totally strict, un-fun dad. For Matthew (and wife Camila Alves), it’s all about balance — firmly setting boundaries and enforcing rules to teach his kids to be good humans while loving, nurturing, and uplifting them. And getting that balance right takes work, as Matthew pointed out in 2020 while chatting with Entertainment Tonight.
“I’ve learned that fatherhood is a verb — it’s not just about being half of making the child. It’s the verb of the work you do after your children are born, and there’s a great, incredible responsibility and privilege to be in that position,” he told the outlet.
“What better job could we have? What better legacy could we leave behind than our children? My favorite project I’ve ever worked on is fatherhood, and I’m trying to do my best at it.”
And from the looks of it, he’s really nailing it. Daughter Vida, 13, and sons Levi, 14, and Livingston, 10, seem to be growing into lovely young people. We could all learn a lot from this celeb dad.
So scroll on for a roundup of some of Matthew’s best parenting advice — when did David Wooderson get so wise?
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Don't be afraid to say no|Don't be afraid to say no
Teach your kids to appreciate everything they have|Teach your kids to appreciate everything they have
Matthew encourages his children to be humble but also appreciate all that they have and not feel embarrassed by their privilege. He also doesn’t want to see them practicing false modesty. During his Oprah interview, he said he tells Vida, Levi, and Livingston, “If a kid at school ever says to you, ‘Oh, I bet you live in a big house because your dad’s famous,’ don’t bow your head. Look up and go, ‘Yeah, we do actually live in a nice house. My dad works really hard to be as good as he can at his job,’ which I do.”|Matthew encourages his children to be humble but also appreciate all that they have and not feel embarrassed by their privilege. He also doesn’t want to see them practicing false modesty. During his Oprah interview, he said he tells Vida, Levi, and Livingston, “If a kid at school ever says to you, ‘Oh, I bet you live in a big house because your dad’s famous,’ don’t bow your head. Look up and go, ‘Yeah, we do actually live in a nice house. My dad works really hard to be as good as he can at his job,’ which I do.”
We don't have to raise our kids the same way our own parents raised us|We don't have to raise our kids the same way our own parents raised us
While chatting with Mayim Bialik for a 2021 episode of her Breakdown podcast, Matthew reflected on his own childhood and how his mother and father used “fear-based” parenting. And though he said it helped “keep [him] in line” and allowed him to understand the consequences of his behavior, he is taking a gentler approach with his own kids.
“I’ve tried to evolve as a parent,” he told Mayim. “I don’t judge my parents or how they did it as right or wrong or ‘Oh, you can’t do it that way anymore.’ I’m trying to instill the same values my parents tried to instill in us, but I try to do it in different ways.”|While chatting with Mayim Bialik for a 2021 episode of her Breakdown podcast, Matthew reflected on his own childhood and how his mother and father used “fear-based” parenting. And though he said it helped “keep [him] in line” and allowed him to understand the consequences of his behavior, he is taking a gentler approach with his own kids.
“I’ve tried to evolve as a parent,” he told Mayim. “I don’t judge my parents or how they did it as right or wrong or ‘Oh, you can’t do it that way anymore.’ I’m trying to instill the same values my parents tried to instill in us, but I try to do it in different ways.”
Don't shy away from disciplining your kids when necessary|Don't shy away from disciplining your kids when necessary
Though Matthew and Camila are against physical punishment, they do believe in disciplining their children in other ways, such as taking away screen time or making them go to bed early.
“I’m a fan of discipline, I’m a fan of responsibility, and I’m a fan of consequences to prepare [my kids] for when they’re out of our house at 18. Because [in] the real world, you can do the same deed and it doesn’t just give you a demerit — you can end up in jail or worse,” he told USA Today in 2018.
Teach your children about consequences
“We are big on consequences,” he told Mayim, noting that can also include positive consequences for good behavior. “Consequences always get a bad rap as always being the bad. Consequences have an equal amount of being the good, the pleasure, as well.”
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Patiently explain to kids why they've done wrong
While appearing on the Rich Roll podcast in 2020, Matthew shared that when his kids misbehave and need to be set straight, he and Camila avoid using that classic catch-all phrase of parents.
“We do not say, ‘Because I said so,’ as much as my parents did, or most of our parents did. We do try to explain things,” he said, adding that even though they might be tempted, he and Camila never let bad behavior slide.
“Not wanting to allow a wound to fester, we’ve got to gather up the energy and sit down with our son and go, ‘Do you understand why that’s not allowable?'”
Avoid a one-size-fits-all style of parenting
Once his three kids had reached their tween years and were becoming “their own little people,” Matthew realized that he needs to parent them each according to the unique individuals they are rather than as a group. “You’ve got to go, ‘Wait, I’m gonna treat you fairly but I’m not gonna treat you all the same,'” he explained on Mayim’s podcast.
