The first time I felt like a “real mom” was when I had a scare that I was going to lose my son during pregnancy. I looked down into the toilet, saw blood, and immediately thought the worst. It was then I knew I loved him so much already and that I was fully his mother. Luckily, it worked out and I had a totally healthy pregnancy and delivery! But it did show me just how much I wanted to be HIS mom, and that I already was.
For some moms, it happens the minute they see the positive pregnancy test results. For others, it happens two months in when they hear their baby’s first laugh. The journey to true motherhood goes so far beyond giving birth. Here are a few beautiful and heartbreaking moments where it clicked for these women that they were moms.
(Note: The Facebook comments below have been edited for length and clarity.)
Whose needs mattered most
The first real latch
“I felt I was a mum for the first time one or two days after my son was born. He was being fussy because he couldn’t latch properly and it was frustrating him so much, he was being worse and worse at it. I took him away from my breast for a second, looked him in the eye, and said as softly as I could, ‘Baby, it’s OK. Don’t fuss or you’ll never manage it. Take a few breaths, settle down, it’ll be fine.’ I knew he couldn’t understand my words but I think my voice soothed him. When he was calmer, I put him back on my breast and he latched perfectly. I was so proud of us both.” – Anne Lny Surround
The news
“I first felt like a mom when we had just left an OB appointment and decided to walk around the mall and look at cute baby things. It wasn’t the cute baby things that made me feel like a mother — it was the second the OB office called me while we were walking, telling me my progesterone was at a 5.2, and that I should be prepared for a miscarriage. I lost it, right in the mall. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be a mom before that — I’ve always wanted to have kids but I was on Depo-Provera and wasn’t actively trying to conceive. When they told me our pregnancy was more than likely going to end with a loss, my entire mindset changed. I’m this child’s MOTHER. I have to do whatever it takes to protect my baby. An OB switch and a few progesterone suppositories later, we have a happy healthy 1-year-old.” — Brandi Nicole
A long journey
“The first time I ever felt like a mom was when I first saw my baby during an ultrasound. I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well. I had a positive urine test at the office and was scheduled for an ultrasound at my OB the next morning. After eight years of trying, two OBGYNs, two reproductive endocrinologists, multiple failed rounds of fertility treatments, adoption classes, and a doctor who told me I would never have children because I was too fat, I was finally a mother.” — Heather Humes
Putting him first
“I felt like a mom when they gave me an epidural and lost his heartbeat and had to give me an emergency C-section. My first thought was if I have to die for him to live, then that’s all that matters.” — LaTricia A. Skeete
Up all night
“I didn’t know I was pregnant when I gave birth to my daughter. It was the scariest thing I have ever been through in my entire life. There was never a question if I was gonna keep her and become a mom or not. I was single, there would be no dad in the picture, and I had absolutely nothing ready for a baby — after all, I wasn’t expecting a baby in my life at that point. In fact, my plan had always been to adopt a child if I was ever going to be blessed enough to have one in my life. (I have a lot of health problems I didn’t want to risk passing to a kid.) But she was mine right away, even if I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a mom. It took longer than I would like to admit to feel like a real mom with no time to mentally prepare for this change in my life. I felt like a real mom the first time I had to stay up all night because she wouldn’t sleep and cried anytime I wasn’t holding her. I remember sitting on the couch with her in my arms, just crying my own eyes out because I was so overwhelmed and tired. It was my job to be the one to stay up with her all night, no one else’s. My job to comfort her — I was her mom.” — Erin Jackman
Sincerely selfless
“I first felt like a mom when I went in for an appointment the day before my due date and they did an ultrasound that showed he was out of water and lower on oxygen than he should have been. They immediately sent me over to labor and delivery for an induction that turned into a C-section after 12 hours of no progress. The whole time, all I could think was that I would give anything for him to be OK.” — Kassie Garcia
