Pregnant women are always the subject of offhand comments, but during 2020, they're subject to a whole new line of unsolicited remarks. Although some of these comments are well-meaning, they miss the mark and simply are not helpful.
Here are five things expecting mothers in 2020 do not want to hear:
1. Don’t worry, there's no evidence it can hurt the baby|1. Don’t worry, there's no evidence it can hurt the baby
3. You should consider giving birth at home|3. You should consider giving birth at home
This is along the same lines as whether I plan to breastfeed or not. Each woman is different, and each woman has the right to make the medically informed decision on where she gives birth. I made that decision: It is to give birth at a hospital. So while some mothers are choosing to give birth at home to have more control of the situation and eliminate any possible exposure to COVID-19, that is something I do not feel comfortable with for a variety of reasons. I’ve had a prior cesarean delivery and have been advised by my trusted doctor that a VBAC is not a medically advised or safe decision for me. My number-one goal this year is to bring a healthy baby boy into this world. I don’t care how or where that baby gets here — and neither should you.
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This is along the same lines as whether I plan to breastfeed or not. Each woman is different, and each woman has the right to make the medically informed decision on where she gives birth. I made that decision: It is to give birth at a hospital. So while some mothers are choosing to give birth at home to have more control of the situation and eliminate any possible exposure to COVID-19, that is something I do not feel comfortable with for a variety of reasons. I’ve had a prior cesarean delivery and have been advised by my trusted doctor that a VBAC is not a medically advised or safe decision for me. My number-one goal this year is to bring a healthy baby boy into this world. I don’t care how or where that baby gets here — and neither should you.
4. At least you had all that time to get the nursery ready|4. At least you had all that time to get the nursery ready
No, I didn’t. Aside from homeschooling, cooking, and playing with my eldest child, I did not have extra time. I couldn't prepare the nursery with everything I needed because at the time, people were hoarding. So while it would have been nice to wash and clean cute little baby clothes all day preparing for my little one’s arrival, instead I despearately searched online for toilet paper.
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No, I didn’t. Aside from homeschooling, cooking, and playing with my eldest child, I did not have extra time. I couldn't prepare the nursery with everything I needed because at the time, people were hoarding. So while it would have been nice to wash and clean cute little baby clothes all day preparing for my little one’s arrival, instead I despearately searched online for toilet paper.
5. 2020 is the worst|5. 2020 is the worst
Despite it all, 2020 will always be remembered as one of the best years of my life. Yes, it sucks that we lost many lives. And it sucks that it’s been such a volatile year in our country in addition to COVID-19. But you know what, I brought a baby into the world this year. So for me, as much as part of it sucked, it was absolutely wonderful, and I don’t want it to be 2021. It was absolutely challenging, strange, and new in so many ways.
In the end, it brought our friends and family closer than ever before. If all you do is focus on the negative, you become that. So please, if that is your choice, let it be so, but do not bring that negativity to me and my baby.
Expectant and new moms are doing the best they can and probably don’t need personal advice unless they ask for it. Sometimes they just need someone to listen and witness the experience. Because one thing is for certain, women pregnant in 2020 are bound together forever, because they experienced a year like no other.
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Despite it all, 2020 will always be remembered as one of the best years of my life. Yes, it sucks that we lost many lives. And it sucks that it’s been such a volatile year in our country in addition to COVID-19. But you know what, I brought a baby into the world this year. So for me, as much as part of it sucked, it was absolutely wonderful, and I don’t want it to be 2021. It was absolutely challenging, strange, and new in so many ways.
In the end, it brought our friends and family closer than ever before. If all you do is focus on the negative, you become that. So please, if that is your choice, let it be so, but do not bring that negativity to me and my baby.
Expectant and new moms are doing the best they can and probably don’t need personal advice unless they ask for it. Sometimes they just need someone to listen and witness the experience. Because one thing is for certain, women pregnant in 2020 are bound together forever, because they experienced a year like no other.
