You’re pregnant. And it shows. You’re excited about the bundle that will be entering your life just months down the road, but you’re also uncomfortable, bloated, and you really miss sushi. You can’t do some of the things you could do before simply because, well, you have a basketball for a belly and how are you supposed to work with that? Let’s look on the bright side, shall we? Soon, that belly will yield a dreamy, beautiful baby. But while that little bun is baking in there, believe it or not, that bump can actually be quite useful.
Let us count the ways…
1. Table
3. Excuse to get out of things
If you ever needed an excuse to get out of going to a Younique party, a body wrap informational session or even a PTA meeting, now you have it. In physical-proof form. And when asked if you can attend, no words even need to be uttered. Just point, shrug your shoulders and then make any type of confusing (and likely cringeworthy) “Sorry, can't” face.
4. Halloween costume prop
No more boring witch or cat costume for you. And “I don’t have a costume” is no option. Come on, you’ve got a sweet built-in costume this year! And the possibilities are endless. It’s an instant beer belly, sports ball, pumpkin, fish bowl. Adorn it, dress it up—hell, paint David Hasselhoff’s face on it! You have never owned Halloween like this before.
5. Pillow for your toddler
Need a handy sleep aid for your toddler? Simply present the belly. Not to mention the heat your body emanates these days, like a loaf of bread fresh out of the oven. Put your young child next to you. Get her all snuggled up, head on your belly pillow cradled slightly by the extra cushion you’ve developed everywhere else and you’ll be hearing those sweet toddler zzz's in no time.
6. Stain, bad hair, pimple, boobs decoy
These days, however you feel about your bump, it’s definitely a scene stealer. It’s headlining your appearance and without even trying it instantly draws attention away from everything else that you don’t have the time or desire to care so much about these days. So that no one really notices the dot-to-dot melasma scene on your face or that you haven’t washed your hair in four days or even your newly developed triple-D boobs.
7. Geography teaching aid
Have slightly older kids? Draw a world map on your belly. Instant globe. Do they know where Myanmar is? Now they will.
8. Window cleaner
Wear a terry cloth shirt, put on some Bruno Mars and go shimmy up on those windows. Kill the exercise bird and the cleaning bird with one big round belly stone.
