What to Know
When Jenna Karvunidis posted a photo of her cutting into a cake with pink icing to announce her baby’s sex on her blog in 2008, she accidentally began one of the most polarizing trends in modern times. Gender reveals have become increasingly popular and grandiose in the last two decades, something Karvunidis now regrets starting.
The amount of money some people spend on gender reveals is insane, but even more wild are the people who post their gender disappointment online in videos for the world to see. At the end of the day, does it really matter? To some parents, it does, and they’re not afraid to admit it.
Gender disappointment is real.
Stuart Brazell told the New York Post that after having her second son, she felt left out that she didn’t have a baby girl. She and her husband became pregnant with their third baby, and she wore all pink to the gender reveal, convinced it was a girl. Instead, Brazell has three sons, and the moment initially crushed her.
“I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed,” Brazell said.
She still wishes that she’d had a baby girl, but three years later, her sons fill her soul. But there is a part of Brazell that wonders what life would have been like.
“I’ll never get the opportunity and privilege to raise a daughter and have that special bond I had with my mother,” she said.
“I will forever mourn not having a daughter. I think about it daily. Multiple times a day. I cry about it regularly,” Brazell added.
Many feel the same way Brazell does.
Heidi Murkoff, author of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” told the Post that what we see online seems to be changing moms’ minds. Those who once hoped for a male heir to carry on the family name now want just the opposite.
“It’s being driven by a social-media and media-generated narrative about toxic masculinity that’s become pervasive and self-perpetuating, but that’s really not grounded in biological fact,” she said.
Per the Post, a 2025 Gallup International Study of 45,000 people in 44 countries found that 19% of women preferred a daughter. Another 12% hoped for a boy, and the remaining had no preference.
For some moms, having a daughter brings them hope for the future.
Gayil Jungreis, a 29-year-old mother from New York who grew up with three sisters, told the Post she found herself very disappointed when her first child was a boy.
“Parents need at least one daughter, but I don’t think they ‘need’ a son,” she said.
Jungreis added that as life goes on, she feels that a relationship between a mother and daughter remains important to the family’s long-term future.
“In general, girls keep a family close and together,” she said.
Social media tends to make everything worse.
Murkoff said she hasn’t seen an anti-boy trend as much as social media makes it seem.
“Much more often, any disappointment is over parents discovering that they’re expecting another baby of the same gender — the 3rd boy, or the 4th girl,” she explained. “Or the disappointment of older kids who had their hearts set on a baby sister, only to bite into a blue cupcake. Cue the tears.”
Murkoff added that a baby is special. “Every boy is different, and every girl is different. Birth order has an influence, so does personality,” she said.
According to her, the biggest disappointment isn’t whether the baby is a boy or a girl; it’s the parent’s life not looking exactly as they expected it to.
Brazell takes her job as a boy mom seriously.
Brazell told the Post she gets tired of the negativity boy moms hear.
“They’re too loud, they’re too much. It’s a bigger challenge to raise fine young gentlemen. That’s a challenge to you to bring wonderful men into this world.”
Brazell adores her boys and wants to be the best mother she can be, so that they will be decent human beings. After all, shouldn’t that be every mom’s goal, no matter who your kids are?
READ NEXT: People Can’t Stop Talking About This Dad’s Awkward Reaction To Learning He’s Having A Girl
