I still remember crying after my first baby was born. Not regular crying, mind you. It was the "choking on your tears, shoulders shaking, can’t understand the words I’m trying to say" kind of crying. And it wasn’t just postpartum emotions, my tears had a very distinct source:
My husband did not understand what I was going through and thus, he wasn’t doing anything right.
Like, NOTHING.
I need you to say I’m awesome.
Relive our birth story with me. Tell me when you thought I was strong. Tell me how beautiful it all was—even if it was more frightening and scarring. Tell me 10 times a day that I rock and I’m a good mom and I can do this.
You can say it, text it, email it, leave a little note somewhere. Just do it. Because I don’t feel like myself physically or emotionally and having a baby rely on your for EVERYTHING 24/7 drains you fast.
I need you to clean up after me.
Clear off my nightstand, throw away the random nursing pads you find laying around, make sure towels and sheets get washed, and take out the stinky garbage often. Postpartum is messy and I’m still healing. I don’t want to use my energy cleaning, I want to use it to care for our baby and stay sane.
I need you to feed me.
I am so hungry. All the time. Please feed me three times a day and provide endless snacks that are nutritious and will help kick off a strong breastfeeding relationship. Hangry is a real thing. Let’s keep that from happening, OK?
I need you to let me sleep.
Sleep deprivation catches up with a mama fast. And then, I’m worthless. I know nights are hard for you, so I’ve got them. But please take the kids and baby and let me get a solid nap in each day. And if you fight with me over who is more tired, well, let’s just say everyone in the world knows that I win so just keep those yawns to yourself.
I need you to understand that my emotions are everywhere.
I am not being forgetful on purpose. I’m not crying for no reason. I’m not overreacting. Do not say I’m overreacting—or I’ll show you overreacting.
I need you to buy me a present.
Of course our healthy baby is the greatest gift, but it wouldn’t hurt to toss me a little something extra. Gifts say I love you and you love me, right?
