I’m no parenting pro. I’ve got a ton to learn still, as my kids are only 8, 5 and 1. That being said, I’ve had a number of people with kids younger than mine ask me a question that I think haunts all of us dads at some point or another:
“What do you do when it feels like your kid just doesn’t like you?
Or maybe a better way to put it, “What do you do when your kid just prefers Mom?”
I’m not talking about “Oh, my son would just rather be with Mom” or “My daughter would rather spend time with Nana & Papa.” I’m talking about the “My child screams bloody murder when I pick them up and doesn’t stop until I put them down or give them to another adult.”
If this is you, first of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this phase. It’s heartbreaking feeling your own child hates you, and no amount of pep talk will fix that feeling. That being said, I would say three things to any dad reading this:
You are not alone
This will pass
Say it with me:
THIS.
WILL.
PASS.
Much like the colic, this will pass. It will not always be this way. There will come a day when you come through the front door at the end of the day and hear that child scream “DADDY!” from the back of the house. You will hear running feet (possibly followed by the child tripping and falling into the wall).
There will come a day when you can pick that kid up and hold them close to you, breathe in the smell at the top of their head and feel their breathing sync up with yours.
There will come a day when that kid picks you. When they scan the room and decide that they want you. And when that day comes, the fits and the screaming will be a distant memory, because that moment is all that matters.
