Alexa PenaVega is navigating the difficult road of loss. Earlier this spring, Alexa and her husband Carlos announced that their fourth child, a daughter they named Indy, was stillborn. Of course, the loss of a child is a traumatic experience, and it’s clear that they’re in good hands. Because this kind of tragedy is all too common, it’s important to see people like Alexa, who have a large social media platform, talk about stillbirth and the crushing feelings that come with infant loss. As a way to check in, Alexa posted a video message on social media, giving people a glimpse into the ways she is keeping tabs on herself and showing up the best way she can — along with some of the challenges she's faced in this difficult time.
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This hasn't been an easy time for Alexa and her family.
“You know this season, obviously is the most traumatic thing that we’ve ever had to go through as a family, let alone I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything quite like this. And I hope to never ever have to experience anything like this ever again,” she said in her emotional video.
“But it’s been really incredible to see how God has just moved through our family,” she continued. “During this time, we have obviously felt a lot of pain. A lot of pain. But also, an insane amount of peace.”
She faced mysterious health problems.
Alexa revealed that Indy’s death wasn’t the only thing she was dealing with.
“This season I have learned so much about pain with purpose. Losing Indy was very hard and then right after losing her, my health declined a lot. And nobody could figure out what was wrong,” she shared.
She didn’t go into details about her health issues, but it appears she used that time to really reflect.
She's learning to use the pain of losing a child and channel it into something else.
“I just kept praying, ‘God, give this pain purpose. Anytime my body is feeling pain, God, you turn it into purpose, whether it’s moving whatever is in my body out, whether it’s pushing these emotions through my body, God, like whatever it is, do not let this pain go to waste.’ That was my prayer. And let me tell you, Indy’s little life has transformed us, like, completely,” she shared.
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Their family is finding their purpose — and baby Indy's — as they cope.
Even though Indy was born sleeping, Alexa made it clear that her daughter’s life has had a profound impact on her and her family.
“Our family has never been stronger, my faith has never been stronger, my marriage has never been stronger,” she admitted. “Her life was so purposeful in just that short little bit that we had with her. And while she may not have taken a breath here on earth, she did not go without purpose.”
Ultimately, she is feeling peaceful.
“It might be hard to understand unless you’ve experienced this kind of loss but I really do hope that you guys can see the crazy peace that we have, even through the pain,” Alexa explained.
"I know it’s just the beginning. And it doesn’t make sense. And days will continue to be hard," she continued. "I know this is not just a … this season I know will come with a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. I know that. But I’m just going to continue to allow his peace to just overwhelm us."
