New Year's Day is coming, which means it is almost New Year's resolution season. Although we are SO over tired resolutions that just make us feel bad about ourselves (Friendly reminder: Diets don't work and fitness shouldn't be a punishment!), we still like the idea of approaching a new year with a sense of intention. And OK, we'll be honest, we also really like setting goals and getting the satisfaction of checking things off a list. (Please send us all the gold stars!)
When it comes to setting resolutions, this can be a good time to give some extra attention to whatever parts of life seem to fall to the bottom of the priority list. For all too many moms, that bottom can include devoting time and energy to keeping the sexual spark alive and blazing in their long-term relationships. Being a mom and being sexy aren't mutually exclusive, but sometimes it does take a little more effort to remember what it feels like to be crazy in lust with the other adult in the house! So we're here to issue a little bit of a challenge: Try out one sexy resolution a month for the next 12 months and see how much more connected and frisky you and your partner can be in 2023!
January: Try a Sexy Listen
Usually bringing the phone to bed isn't a great start to making a sexy moment happen, but it can be if there is a hot audio book or short story to listen to together! Check out an app that has erotic short stories or bookmark some of the hottest scenes in an audio romance novel and see what it inspires for a book club of two.
February: Schedule a Day Date
Has it been a while since sexy times have happened while the sun was still shining? Fix that by resolving to have a sexy day date at least once during February! Take the day off of work, drop the kids off at school, and enjoy five or six hours of daytime frisky time.
March: Make a Plan
For couples who are balancing jobs and kids and keeping a house running, it can be hard to make sure sex stays a top priority. It can be all to easy for one week without sex to turn into two and then three and … well, this is how dry spells happen. According to researchers, the sweet spot for couples to stay connected and to report satisfaction with their sex life is once a week, so setting a resolution to have a standing sex date (say every Saturday night) can be a smart idea for 2023!
April: Mix it Up
One of the perks of being settled down with a loving partner is that sex stuff gets figured out. There's no mystery about what works and which positions are a sure bet to make sure both people have a big finish. Although we'd never argue for giving up the sure things, resolving to try a new position is just good fun! Novelty can be a turn on and maybe a new favorite position will emerge.
May: Try It Outside
There's nothing like feeling the fresh air on parts of the body that don't usually get to see the sun! One idea for a sexy resolution would be to have a make-out sesh (or more, for the daring) in the great outdoors. Hiking, camping, a secluded lake — there are options!
June: Push Some Boundaries
One of the benefits of a healthy long-term relationship is having had time to build trust. With a good foundation of trust, it can be fun to explore pushing some boundaries with things like blindfolds or so some light bondage. Resolving to experiment with sex beyond the vanilla version can be a good goal for 2023!
July: Get a New Toy
The resolution for July is simple: Visit a sex shop or go online together and pick out a new toy (or a first toy for couples that haven't added that kind of play to their routine yet)! Figuring out what toy seems the most fun is an easy way to start a conversation about what feels good and what each person would like to explore more, which is a great way to get more connected.
August: Commit to Kissing
Remember when we were in high school and we could spend hours kissing? Although we don't miss the chapped lips and whisker burn on our chins, there is something to be said for slowing down and not jumping right into the main event. The August resolution: Set aside at least 30 minutes each week to do nothing but kiss.
September: Hit the Books
September is a wonderful month to hit the books and learn a little bit more about how humans tick when it comes to sex. We suggest a book like Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski to learn more about how women experience desire and to spark some great conversations.
October: Role Playing
If there is a perfect month to resolve to try a little role playing with some grown-up costumes, it has to be October. Whether the vibe is naughty teacher, sexy nurse, or something a little more exotic (we're not gonna judge!) embrace the silly sexiness of role playing this month.
November: Share a Fantasy
One of the sexiest things we have is our imagination. For November, resolve to have both partners share a secret fantasy. There is no pressure to have to enact those fantasies, but just the act of sharing can create extra intimacy. For those who are a little shy, texting instead of sharing it face to face is totally allowed!
December: Make the Bedroom Sexier
For the final resolution of the year, resolve to turn up the sexiness of the bedroom itself. Consider adding some amazing high-quality sheets, a piece of sex furniture (yep, that's a thing!), or even keep it simple by changing the lighting (a dimmer switch is a fab idea) or adding candles for some mood lighting. Make the bedroom a sexy haven, and good sex will follow!
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