Sometimes I think marriage and dating must have been so easy back in the day. You married the first guy who looked at you at the ripe age of 15, had an awkward first kiss on your wedding day, and boom, partner secured. Now it's all online profiles, blind dates, and drunken make-outs. Who cares if they didn't have tampons in the 18th century and the life expectancy was 30? Their loves lives were, like, sooo much simpler.
Take this couple for example. They've been happily married for 10 years and have a 2-year-old kid. Everything was great until one day the husband happened to find a sex tape on the Internet that featured his wife and a previous boyfriend.
You think that ever happened in 1756?
Ye olde … I don't think so. This dude's in such a pickle for so many things. First of all, let me say that he says he isn't mad that his wife made a sex tape — it was before they'd met and it was with a man she had been dating. So he's cool with it. His dilemma is whether or not to tell his loving wife that he found a tape of her getting nailed on the Internet. Apparently, from the video, he can deduce that she has no idea this is out there.
He wrote into Dear Abby with his problem (natch) and she advised him to tell his wife about his salacious find online. Sure, he can do that … that's probably the right thing. I suppose I'd want to know if there was a sex tape out there with my naked ass mooning the camera. But if he tells her … isn't he going to have to explain how, exactly, he found this video?
Assuming his wife's name wasn't attached to the tape like "My SEXXXY Night With Jane Doe — Shh! She Doesn't Know She's Being Taped!" then … was the husband just trolling the web for homemade sex tapes? Checkin' out some porno sites while the wife's upstairs? Not judging, just wondering.
It's a modern day tale of husband-finds-sex-tape-online-featuring-his-wife-with-her-ex-boyfriend and it's a cautionary story about a) making sex tapes, b) dating someone sleazy enough to make a sex tape, and c) the dangers of looking at homemade pornos (as in you never know who's gonna pop up on that screen).
And it's so not something they had to deal with in the 18th century. Point: Settlers.
What would you do if caught in this guy's jam?
Photo via GlenBledsoe/Flickr
