You'll never guess who's not so happy with the assets that made her famous. Kate Upton wishes she had smaller boobs! The Sun claims she told them, "I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life as I would love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs." NO! Yes! As a member of the smaller boob clan, I am flabbergasted. All this time I've been seeing photos of Kate and wondering what it must be like to own a set of naturals like that. (Okay, fine, now Kate is saying she never said she wanted smaller boobs.)
But here's the brilliant thing fictional Upton added: "If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons …" OMG, that's perfect. If we could really have that kind of versatility, how amazing, right? Well, we do have boob size options, sort of. Here are the best ways to change your breast size without doing anything radical, like getting plastic surgery or (gulp) getting pregnant. I guess they'll have to do … for now.
Bigger: Chicken Cutlets
Yes, they're really called chicken cutlets — but they're not made with chicken. You just slip these into your bra, fitting snugly into the bottom, tucking underneath your breast as much as possible. That way, you lift your naturals up a bit to (hopefully) create some cleavage.
Smaller: Minimizer Bra
You do a lot to minimize your breast size just by getting fitted for the correct-sized bra. But there are also "minimizer" bras out there to squish you further.
Bigger: Push-Up Bra
A push-up bra does a great job of overselling your assets. Here are some push-ups we gave the thumbs up to a couple years ago.
Smaller: Sports Bras
A sports bra doesn't have to be just for running — you could wear one while walking. In a bar. Or down the street. Or at the dentist's. Basically any place where you want to avoid cat-calls. Here are our top recommended sports bras.
Bigger: Yoobies
Hey look, inflatable breast enhancers! I'm sure that would TOTALLY WORK. I don't see disaster on the horizon for this product at all.
Smaller: Wet Muslin
Victorian ladies used to wrap themselves in wet muslin to minimize their bustline. Sounds … awesome.
Bigger: Bosom Max
This product, I don't know … check out the BOSOM MAX website to find out how you can enhance your boobs in just 15 minutes a day using supplements and a vibrating breastplate.
Smaller: Corset
Ah, the corset! Maybe not your most comfortable option.