Look, we aren't going to pretend that our relationships are 100% "normal" all the time. In fact, the longer a couple stays together, the weirder it all gets. You don't have to tell this to one man, who wrote in to Reddit and explained that when he and his wife were social distancing, they started playing a little game. But one day, it resulted in the ultimate embarrassing moment.
As part of the "game," he decided to surprise his wife with a slap in her face with his penis — not knowing that she was on a Zoom call with her coworkers.
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The mortified husband explained that it was all part of a game the couple plays with each other.
Boy oh boy, do we bet they wish they were avid Go Fish players instead. Unfortunately, the game they play is "slapping each other with random things while the other is busy," he wrote on a post that has since been deleted from Today I F—-ed Up on Reddit.
They try to catch each other off guard, including a recent round where his wife hit him in the face with a tampon.
So, the original poster decided to get his revenge.
The man came up with the idea to strike after a shower.
He toweled off and then he spotted her "on her computer with headphones on."
Like a lion stalking his prey, he snuck up to her side.
And then, BOOM! "D— slap square on the cheek."
"She never stood a chance," he added.
Surprisingly, her reaction was only silence.
Where was the thunderous laughter? Or at least some indignation at being hit?
"But then she just turned to me, white in the face and just said, 'I'm on [a] call.'"
Depending on who she works with, this might not have been the weirdest Zoom meeting they've been on.
It sure was embarrassing for her husband, though.
"I thought she was joking maybe just winding me up but then I look at her screen and see several gob smacked co-workers of my wife (only one of which I'd ever even met)," he recalled.
He did the only thing one can do in that situation — run away.
The man bolted to the bathroom, which is where he was typing his story, and started to spiral.
"I'm scared that I'm going to be reported for some kind of domestic abuse, and I don't even know how to explain to them the situation because it's so stupid," he wrote.
At least it wasn't the most boring meeting her coworkers have had to sit through.
"You’re gonna eat some [expletive] over this for a while, you know this right?" a commenter wrote. "And don’t get me started on the Company Christmas Party…..awkward…."
"Unexpected side-effects of COVID-19, the chances of seeing someone naked on conference call has gone up 1000 percent," wrote another commenter. "Can you imagine all those cases that have gone unreported? Comedy gold."
A third person couldn't stop laughing at the OP's mistake.
"Omg that made me laugh so hard I was wheezing!!!" the person wrote. "Oh I needed that! Thank you for sharing your disgrace!!"
Other people thought the husband had done too much damage.
"Not gonna lie, but it sounds like you may have ruined any reputation that your wife has at the company," one person wrote. "Instead of being a competent and respected person, she will now be known as the woman who lets her husband smack his dick across her face randomly. Not trying to be a prude, the situation is pretty comical, but I think those things are hard for women to come back from professionally."
"I don't understand why the spouse wouldn't know they were doing conference calls from home," a second person asked. "Is there no communication in these households?"
"You deserve all the shame you feel," a third commenter chimed in.
We're not going to lie — this is going to sting for a while. But at the very least, the original poster might finally learn that it's best to check in and see if his wife is busy before playing their "game" — or, ya' know, he could keep it in his pants.
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