Relationships between mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law can be complex. But when one person oversteps in a big way, things can get downright nasty. Recently, a MIL showed up uninvited to her son and DIL’s vacation cabin — and then was mad when her DIL refused to entertain her.
In early November, a Reddit user took to the Am I the A–hole subreddit to vent about the situation with his mother and wife. The husband stood firm in support of his wife’s decision to relax and unwind instead of cooking for and hanging out with his mom while he and his dad went fishing. Now, his mother is upset, and he wants to know if he was in the wrong.
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The son took to Reddit to explain how a recent getaway with his wife played out.
In early November, the husband vented on Reddit.
“My wife has had a stressful time at work and was looking forward to a vacation at her grandparents’ cabin,” he explained. “She brought a few books she wanted to read and I brought my fishing rod. She had no plans to entertain.”
Although the OP (original poster) invited his dad to stop by and go fishing with him, he was accompanied by an unexpected guest.
His mother also showed up uninvited to their cabin.
The OP’s mother also came, much to her son’s shock and dismay.
“My wife had no plans to entertain her. I told my mom that,” he detailed. “My mom bought stuff for lunch and dinner and tried to engage my wife into making dinner for us all and my wife said no. She’s relaxing and reading. If my mom wanted to cook that’s my mom’s prerogative.”
When the OP and his dad returned, his mom tried to complain — but the husband had none of it.
“My dad and I get back late and at the table my mom started to complain how she did this all herself,” the OP wrote. “I looked at my wife who just took her plate and ate in her room.”
He continued, “My mom started to complain to me about it and I told my mom, ‘she technically wasn’t invited and my wife had no expectations to entertain her in my wife’s cabin while my wife is on vacation.’”
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The mom is mad that her son called her an 'unwanted guest.'
When the mom told her son she wouldn’t have come to the cabin if she knew his wife wouldn’t be up for entertaining her, he stood firm. “I told my mom next time take the hint. If you aren’t invited don’t come,” he wrote in the thread.
The OP concluded, “My parents left after dinner. My mom complained that my wife should have tried to be a gracious hostess and I said maybe my mom should try not being an unwanted guest.”
In the comments, Reddit users thought most of the people in this story were jerks.
The resounding consensus in the comments, however, was that the exception was the DIL, who did nothing wrong; literally everyone else was up for debate.
One Reddit user wrote, “Congrats to your wife for actually prioritizing her wants and not succumbing to the pressure to entertain and host.”
Someone else pointed out, “[Everyone sucks here] except your wife. You invited your dad, he brought your mom, and you left your wife to deal with her. You should have brought your mom fishing or sent both parents home.”
Another person agreed. “ESH. Once your mom showed up, you needed to make it clear to her that your wife wasn’t there to entertain her,” the person wrote.
“By leaving your wife to deal with your mom you added to the awkwardness of the situation. Your mom is a bigger a–hole for just showing up uninvited because your dad was there. But irrespective of that, you should have done more to preserve your wife’s peace before leaving with your dad.”
Another Redditor put the blame on the OP. “This falls on you. You left to go enjoy your day while leaving your wife with your mom. They are your parents,” the person wrote. “If you cared so much about your wife getting relaxation the right thing to do was sacrifice your plans to entertain both of your parents. If fishing was THAT important to you and your dad, why didn’t you tell your mom she was going to have to go along fishing?”
The commenter added, “Additionally you said you and your dad ‘got back late.’ No part of you thought maybe you should hustle home and see how your wife was faring with the unwanted guest? Yeesh If I was your wife you would be hearing from me up one side and down the other!”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
