First came love.
Then came marriage.
Then came baby in the baby carriage.
And another…
We did the rhyme. We even did it in order. We had a boy and a girl and, while we never had an actual discussion about how many kids we planned to have, somehow we both just seemed to know that we were done. Our family was complete.
Aside from those pangs of sadness you get deep down in your ovaries when you pack up the infant clothes or look at newborn hospital photos from years ago, I never had a moment of reconsideration or wondering if I wanted another baby. I loved my family of four. I didn’t feel like anything was missing.
And then one hot and steamy quarantine night, my hubby and I got too caught up in the heat of the moment to remember that we hadn’t actually done anything permanent about our unofficial “no more babies” decision. Thanks to the coronavirus, I had skipped my annual appointment with the ob-gyn and hadn’t gotten a refill on my birth control or made it to the store for some good old-fashioned condoms, yet that didn’t stop us. In the moment, we didn’t care about any risks. Heck, we’re a married couple with kids! Whatever happens happens, right?
But immediately after, I began to panic
We weren’t trying to have a baby|We weren’t trying to have a baby
We didn’t want a baby.
Did we?
Just a couple weeks prior and I would have had no doubt in my mind of the answer to that question. But now? Now I’m just not so sure. I’m still so happy with our family of four. I still don’t feel like anything is missing.
So, do I want another baby?
Maybe.
But also, maybe not.
I suppose we shall have to wait and see.
|
We didn’t want a baby.
Did we?
Just a couple weeks prior and I would have had no doubt in my mind of the answer to that question. But now? Now I’m just not so sure. I’m still so happy with our family of four. I still don’t feel like anything is missing.
So, do I want another baby?
Maybe.
But also, maybe not.
I suppose we shall have to wait and see.
