Having a parent with cancer isn’t easy for anyone. The sick parent is understandably concerned with how to keep things as close to normal as possible. But that’s not always a realistic goal. Mom Misty De La Cruz is detailing her journey with Stage 3 triple-negative breast cancer on TikTok.
In her videos, she details the way her illness affects her and her family. One recent video went viral after she described an emotional call from her son’s school nurse. The conversation highlights just how difficult dealing with cancer is for families.
She wasn’t anticipating getting such a call.
In the video, which has millions of views, De La Cruz explains that she received a call from her son’s school nurse as she was getting ready for work. During the call, the nurse had some observations about her son — mainly that he seemed to be tired a lot.
The mom wasn’t surprised, knowing that her cancer has taken an emotional toll on her entire family. But then the nurse said something that shocked her. Her 10-year-old son told the nurse that he was afraid to go to sleep some nights because he was afraid his mom would die overnight.
“People don’t understand on the outside,” De La Cruz says in the video. “There’s so much more to this process than just us battling cancer. It’s the fact that our kids are so traumatized,” she said. She added that she was going to put her son in therapy to cope.
@lifewithmisty8 It’s just not fair. I can handle this suffering but to watch my babies suffer is horrible. #chemotherapysideeffects #breastcancer #brca2positive💕💞💞💞 #ptsd #brca2 #breastcancerawareness #depression ♬ original sound – lifewithmisty8
The comments were full of people who had nothing but empathy.
“People don’t understand I was so sick I couldn’t go to my son’s football games he quit going because I wasn’t able to show up 😭 cancer affects everyone not just person going through it,” one person wrote.
“Your baby is dealing with anticipatory grief ❤️🩹 one of the hardest things to deal with when your parents are sick☹️💔 so sorry mama sending you so much love and hugs 🤍🫂 all of you,” another comment read.
The mom spoke more about the way her family has been dealing with her illness.
Misty De La Cruz spoke with People about the video, giving more insight into the toll her cancer has taken on her and her family. She explained that due to the severity of her illness, she can’t attend her son’s sports games. She also has trouble doing simple tasks, like making dinner for her family, without help.
“As a parent you try to be strong for your children, but they watch you slowly change into someone completely different,” she said.
The mom explained that she told her son about her September 2024 diagnosis in an one-on-one conversation due to his young age. “He was crying, and the only thing he asked was if I was going to die,” she remembered. She told him “ultimately, there is never a promise from anyone, but I was gonna fight as hard as I could.”
As time passes, things only get harder for the family.
“The feeling is gut-wrenching. It’s almost like someone knocked the wind out of you, and you really don’t know how to react to it. All I could do was cry,” De La Cruz said of receiving that phone call. She said that when her son got home, they had a long talk about her chances of survival and how their lives will change.
“It doesn’t take away the fear and a child’s eyes as they watch the person who’s always been the strongest in the household become the weakest,” she admitted. “Everyone grieves differently,” she said. “And this is a grieving process. You won’t be the person you were before cancer.”
To help her family deal with the immense financial burden of her illness, Misty De La Cruz started a GoFundMe. She said her family was at risk of losing their home due to the expenses of “trying to survive.”
