Only a parent can make decisions about their baby. But as any parent knows, everyone around them is going to have an opinion. These people may not even know you, but they might think they know what’s best for your baby. And forget about family. We all know that our families will always have an opinion about how we raise our kids.
One old-fashioned family member went so far as to ask for advice from other moms after judging a new mom. She realized it may have been overstepping, and people had no problem voicing their feelings about her take on things.
She was worried for a new first-time mom.
The family member posted in the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on popular UK website Mumsnet. She explained that a family member had given birth the day before her post. The new mom is only 17, and had a “normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy.”
The new mom was quickly discharged from the hospital after giving birth. And that’s where the issue arose for the woman writing in.
“A couple of hours later was at the local pub, not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal,” the woman wrote. “Am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really. Also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore.”
The woman said other family members called her “old fashioned” before asking what others thought.
Many people went out shortly after giving birth, too.
“I had [darling son] in a pub for a meal at 4 days old after I’d had a C section,” one mom wrote. “Can’t really see a problem with it; there’s likely to be less germs than there was floating around in the hospital.”
“I was in the pub the day after my baby was born, or maybe it was the day after that,” another person shared. “Met my brother and sister in law to show him off, and I had a pint too! You only need to rest if you need to rest. No need to be ‘confined.'”
Another mom chimed in: “I did a Sainsbury’s shop on the way home from hospital with new baby in tow. It’s fine, she’s young she will bounce quickly.”
Only a few people seemed to take issue with it.
“I don’t think it’s ideal for the baby,” one person wrote.
Another mom wrote: “I genuinely thought (until I had my own baby) that they weren’t allowed out until they’d had their shots. Like puppies.”
“I think of she was washing the meal down with a few snake bites or long island iced teas I’d be a bit ‘wow’ but she probably wants a bit of normality before her new life starts I guess,” someone else wrote.
After some pushback, the OP had to clarify her reason for asking.
“Just to clarify I wasn’t judging her, I was only 16 when I had first baby many years ago,” the woman wrote. “She will be a brilliant mum I’m sure. I was just concerned she might be overdoing it and wondered if others thought I was being old fashioned that’s all, clearly I am. I just remember feeling too s— to go anywhere all 3 times but like I said we’re all different.”
